Winter Just Wasn't My Season
by suki1916
Summary: Haley spends a winter in New York with her roommate Brooke who just happens to be the twin sister of Nathan. Everything suddenly changes in Haley's life.
1. Betrayal

Betrayal

It wasn't just some ordinary winter. Haley hated it and loved it all at the same time. The fact that it was so cold, so crisp, and so white was enough for her to love winter. It was the memories of winter that brought out the hatred. Winter represented pain in Haley's life and it wasn't quite something she was looking forward to this year.

Betrayal.

It was at her winter formal her junior year that her date Craig showed up with a girl that wasn't her.

She had resigned herself a long time ago to just expect it. Sometimes it was something minor. She didn't get the CD she wanted for Christmas. Nobody asked her to the winter formal. She broke her foot while ice skating. This year was going to be different. She could feel it.

It had been her first semester at Harvard and she was on her way home with a her roommate Brooke. She was from New York and always told Haley of the good life. The massive Christmas tree at Rockefeller center. The millions of shoppers. She talked of her parents who were never really around and her twin brother Nathan who stuck by her thick and thin. She gushed about her fiancé Jake. Haley couldn't wait to spend a winter away from discontent.

They arrived by train to New York sometime in the evening and already Haley felt loads better about this winter. This winter would change her life. She felt it all the way down to her bones. It was either that or the freezing wind chill that felt like she didn't even have a coat on.

"Brooke!" she heard an familiar voice call out and recognized it as the one that had left several messages on their answering machine. Jake. She didn't waste any time before dropping all her bags and leaping into his arms, kissing him feverously. "Oh, how I missed you."

"Hi, I'm Nathan. Brooke's brother." a dark headed boy stepped in front of Haley extending her hand, as the two love birds completely ignored their presence. She got lost in the clear blue eyes he possessed and didn't respond. Not until he lightly touched her cheek, sending shivers down her spine that she responded and shook his hand.

"Haley." she introduced, relishing in the touch of his hand. She realized that he was staring into her eyes as well and that they were holding hands for far too long of a time for them to have just met. And finally they broke contact when Brooke stopped kissing Jake and took notice of her brother and best friend.

"Oh good, I see you too introduced yourselves. I'm so glad to see you Nate." she said hugging her brother.

"You too little sis."

"Oh my God. Only by three minutes." she retorted. And he laughed. Really laughed. A sound Haley could really get used to. "Oh and Haley this is Jake." she smiled as Jake and Haley shook hands. "So what are we doing tonight?" Brooke asked eager to 're-experience' New York as she liked to put it.

"We have about half an hour to get to Soho and meet Lucas and Peyton." Jake responded. Brooke looked down at her watch and glared at Jake. "What?"

"Half an hour Jake? We'll never make it in time." she scolded.

"So they'll adjust. Take a pill little sis." Nathan said putting his arm around her shoulders.

"Ahem…Lucas and Peyton?" Haley said speaking up.

"Oh tutor girl you remember me telling you about my best friend and my ex." Brooke said looking at Haley with a duh look. "Oh come on, I know I told you."

"Nope. Sorry."

"Don't worry. I'm sure once we get some alcohol and a little sleepiness in Brookie, she'll spill the whole sordid story." Nathan replied taking his arm off of Brooke's shoulders and placing them on Haley's, much to her surprise and delight.

"Don't call me Brookie, Natey." Brooke glared. "Alright, can we get out of the freezing ass whether, into a cab, and on our way?" she asked and Jake nodded grabbing her bags as Nathan grabbed Haley's. Haley suddenly felt a lot more colder without Nathan's arms around her.

They stood on the corner of the street waiting amongst all the people to get a cab. Jake and Brooke were cooing at each other, leaving Nathan and Haley once again to fend for themselves. Haley, for the most part, was concentrating on her shuffling feet but every once she looked up she saw that he was staring at her.

"It there something on my…" she started.

"Oh here we go. We should take separate cabs, that way we're not cramped." Brooke said. Nathan and Haley exchanged glances and Brooke just gave them a charming smile.

"Brooke…" Nathan said menacing knowing exactly what she was doing.

"Oops, got to go. See you there." she quickly responded grabbing Jake and getting into the cab.

"Are you always this quiet?" Nathan asked once they were settled into the cab and on their way.

"Do you always stare at people you just meet?" Haley retorted.

"Only the pretty ones." he winked sending her into a fit of giggles.

"Does that ever work?" she laughed.

"Not always." he responded never taking his eyes off of her. "You know Brooke's trying to set us up."

"I had a feeling." she nodded. "Quite the little matchmaker."

"Yeah always has been. I think she's trying to make up for her last attempt that ended in disaster."

"Oh?"

"Another story. Another time." he replied as they pulled up to the restaurant. He glanced over at Haley and she gave him a mischievous grin. "What?"

"You wanna make Brooke's mouth drop? Completely leave her speechless?" she asked and Nathan smiled, nodding.

Twenty minutes later they sauntered hand and hand into the restaurant, clothes and hair in disarray. Once they made their way to the back of the place, she winked at him and walked right up to the table consisting of Jake, Brooke, and who Haley assumed to be Lucas and Peyton. They were in the middle of laughing when Brooke looked up and did a double take noticing her friend and brother.

"What the hell happened with the two of you?" she ranted. "Oh my God. Nathan Scott. Haley James. Oh, visual. Eww. You two had sex! Haley you're a virgin!"

"Brooke!" Haley blushed. "Still am." she whispered though clenched teeth. "It was a joke. Ha ha…ha. Thanks Brooke for the public announcement."

"That look was priceless though." Nathan laughed. Haley let go of his hand, straightening her hair and sat down.

"Peyton, Lucas, this is Haley James." Brooke said taking her seat and introducing Haley.

"Sorry if that was out of line or whatever. Way to break the ice huh? Sorry, I must really have a bad first impression now." Haley rambled.

"It's ok Hales." Brooke said giving her a smile and patting her hand. "Besides, why would we care, you embarrassed yourself." she laughed.

"Thanks Brooke." Haley laughed and soon the rest of the table was laughing as well. "So uh, Peyton, Lucas, what are you in school for. Oh I forgot to ask you Nathan." she asked.

"Well I'm in NYU for art. And Lucas here is in business. Something about sports management. " Peyton said rolling her eyes." Oh and we're not dating. Just to clarify."

"I play basketball at UCONN. " Nathan spoke up. "But they used to date."

"Nathan…don't drag out that whole story." Lucas groaned.

"Oh come on it's a good story. Anyway, I dated Peyton first. It was pretty much just for sex."

"Nathan!" Peyton said hitting his arm. "Alright it was but still." she conceded.

"Well Lucas stole her from me. Brooke turned around and stole Lucas from Peyton. Then Peyton and Jake dated. Then Brooke and Jake dropped the broody twins and got together. And now Brooke, Jake, and Jenny are going to live happily ever after." Nathan finished.

"Wait, who's Jenny?" Haley asked confusion covering her soft face.

"My daughter." Jake spoke up. "Not Brooke's biologically but yeah. That's another long story. She's with a sitter tonight."

"Wow. That's pretty incredible. Why didn't you tell me Brooke?" Haley asked.

"A lot of people frown at the fact that I have a two year old. The frown even more when they find out she's not really mine. We just choose to keep it private. I don't mean to keep secrets from you Haley…"

"It's ok. We all have our own little secrets." Haley smiled.

Their dinner went on a for a little over an hour, with the five life long friends telling each other stories about their lives and Haley listening intently. How boring and ordinary her life compared to the lives of those five amazed Haley. Her life paled in comparison.

"Alright, I think Jake and I want to take a walk and get caught up." Brooke announced once she handled the check.

"Translation: their going back to his apartment and-" Peyton started.

"Do not even finish that sentence P. Sawyer." Brooke glared. "Besides who know what you and Lucas do once you go back to your apartment."

"You live together?" Haley asked once again out of the loop.

"Oh yeah, forgot that part. It works." Lucas said. "And we don't do anything Brooke. Don't listen to her; her mind is always in the gutter." he whispered behind his hand to Haley.

"I heard that Lucas Roe." Brooke scolded. "Anyway, Nate you'll take Haley home?"

"Sure."

"And I'll see you tomorrow Peyt? Shopping? You know you wanna." Brooke said wiggling her eyebrows.

"I know I don't have a choice." she muttered.

After the gang said their goodbyes and gave each other hugs, Nathan and Haley watched as Jake and Brooke walked towards Central Park and Lucas and Peyton climbed into a cab. Nathan gently put his hand on the small of Haley's back nudging her in the way of what Haley assumed to be 'home.'

"So you were by yourself?" Haley spoke up after a block of silence.

"Huh? What…when?"

"Well after you and Peyton split. You were by yourself?" Haley asked, obliviously to discomfort in Nathan.

"Not exactly." Nathan coughed.

"Oh." Haley said catching the hint. "Sorry…I didn't mean to uh, you know, pry."

"Her name was Madison." he said quietly. Haley looked up at him, listening, urging him to continue if he wanted. "First girl I ever loved. Or thought I loved. We went out for almost two years. Anyway, she uh, she cheated on me. Haven't talk to her since we graduated seven months ago."

"That sucks." Haley replied and to her surprise Nathan laughed. "What's so funny?"

"It's just that every has said everything from 'I'm sorry' to 'her loss.' Nothing compared to the outrage you just possessed saying 'that sucks.' It's refreshing, that's all."

"Oh, well I am sorry it happened to you. That's life though you know. Gotta roll with the punches. It wouldn't have happened unless it was for a reason. Maybe you're a better person, stronger, because of it."

"Speaking from experience?" he asked.

"Kinda." she shrugged. "Technically though, I've never had a boyfriend." she confessed.

"You're kidding right?" Nathan asked incredulously.

"Nope." she said nonchalantly. "It's not a big deal. I went on dates. Some. Alright a few. I was too focused on getting into Harvard to have time for a boyfriend. Not like I had boys banging down the door with offers though." she chuckled.

"Me either." he joked and she laughed. "We're almost there. So how do you like New York so far?"

"It's…crowded." she laughed.

"I like your laugh." he said and she looked at him and sighed.

"Thanks." she said sheepishly, the blush creeping up into her cheeks.

"Oh we're here." he said stopping in front of an apartment building. Haley nodded and followed him inside. He greeted the doorman and they spoke for a few minutes as Haley sat down at the piano in the lobby, grazing her fingers over the keys. "You play?" Nathan asked sitting beside her on the bench.

"Some." she replied taking her hands off the keys and placing them on her lap. "Not so much anymore."

"How come?"

"Can't play music if you don't have the words or the notes." she replied giving him a small smile. "We should uh, get upstairs. I'm kind of tired." she yawned.

"Oh yeah, of course. I didn't even think you would be tired." he replied taking her hand in his own and walking with her to the elevator. They stepped inside and he let go of her hand to press the button to the fifteenth floor.

Nathan stepped inside the apartment, flipped on the lights and held the door open for Haley. She followed him into a small guest bedroom that was decorated in light pink all over. She gave a small frown which didn't go unnoticed by Nathan.

"Something wrong?"

"It's like pink threw up in here." she replied, shriveling up her nose in disgust. "Sorry, I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I just, well pink isn't exactly my favorite color." she finished as Nathan busted out laughing.

"You can sleep in my room."

"What?" she asked incredulously which caused him to laugh once more.

"I mean I'll sleep in here. You can take my room. I promise there's no pink in there."

"Oh." she said quietly. "That's really nice of you."

"It's not a big deal." he shrugged. "I'm hardly going to be here anyway."

"Where are you going to be?" she asked a little more eager than she had wanted to.

"Training. I can't miss three weeks of practice just because it's Christmas. Come on, I show you my room." he said and she nodded, following down the hall into his bedroom. She could admit that she felt a little more than embarrassed being in his room and sleeping in his bed. "Better?"

"Lots. Listen I feel really bad doing this. I mean this is your home and I am a guest and I'm complaining about it being pink? I really do appreciate it. Are you even going to fit in that twin bed?" she asked chuckling a little bit.

"Probably not but I'll adjust. It's really ok. I mean the way Brooke's talks about you, she really cares about you and well she'd probably kill me if I didn't make you as comfortable as possible."

"Oh so it's just for Brooke huh?" she smirked. "Oh wow, I can't believe you have a plasma TV. " she gushed which caused him to laugh once more. "Small town in North Carolina with very little money. Hence, the overwhelming need to get a scholarship." she explained.

"I understand. I don't know if Brooke explained but we were like that for a little while before our dad struck it big. Alright it's late and I'm going to go hit up some TV." he replied, setting her bags down at the foot of the bed. "I'll uh, see you in the morning for breakfast?"

"Yeah of course." she answered and gave him a small smile. He returned the gesture and turned to leave the room before she rested her hand on his arm. "You're more than welcome to stay and watch it in here. I'm going to take a bath." he nodded and sat on the bed as she grabbed her clothes. She returned a half and hour later to find him asleep on the bed. Smiling, she turned off the television and light, placed a throw over him, and slipped underneath the covers. She fell asleep listening to his peaceful breathing.


	2. Tragedy

A/N: Okay this story is short, only around nine chapters. But I think you'll like it. Um, read review all that jazz. Oh and enjoy.

Tragedy

Haley rolled over away from the sun streaming in the window hitting her face and ended up within inches of Nathan's sleeping form. It surprised her, almost forgetting where she was. He was peaceful and she smiled at herself. She sighed, content to just lay here for the moment and closed her eyes, wanting for just a little while to stay like this.

It was a few minutes later when Nathan opened his own eyes, yawning, and noticed a sleeping Haley mere inches from his face. He remembered watching television last night but that was it. He must have fallen asleep but he couldn't figure out why Haley was in the bed next to him. If Brooke walked in right now she would blow a gasket. He reached up, tucking the tiny strand of hair that had fallen in her face behind her ear.

"Morning." she said not bothering to open up her eyes. Nathan's hand had rested half way on her face and partially on her neck and he remained frozen in place wondering if he had crossed some sort of boundary. She opened up her eyes, giving him a small smile, and reached up and held his hand for a moment before setting it back down on the bed. "Sorry I slept in here. I just couldn't will myself into the pink room."

"I'm sorry I fell asleep." he said giving her a smile in return. "You could've woken me up."

"And resist that sweet face with the drool going down your chin? Nah." she teased. Instinctively he reached up and wiped at his chin which caused Haley to turn over in laughter. "You are too cute."

"Of course I am." he replied smirking. She laughed again placing her whole hand over his face and pushing his head away.

"Cocky much?"

"Ha ha, you're a funny one aren't you? Let's go get some breakfast." he said getting up and swinging her legs over the bed. He turned around and looked at Haley who was still in the bed lying down. "Coming?"

"You can cook?" she asked doubtfully.

"Yes. I can cook. Thanks for the faith there Hales." he chuckled and she slightly frowned. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, no. That's uh not it. I haven't been called Hales in a long time that's all." she said sighing. "Anyway, I have a lack of faith in you because I'm picky and I don't know you."

"And yet you still slept with me." he smiled causing her to throw a pillow at him hitting him in the chest.

Ten minutes later both ended up in the kitchen, still in their pajamas dancing around one another looking for ingredients. Haley settled on making blueberry pancakes and Nathan compromised, making the omelets. As Haley stirred the batter, she couldn't help but how much, already, this winter was that much more different than all the other ones. And it had only just begun.

**Tragedy**

_It was Christmas Eve, when Haley was five that she begged her mother to go get milk for the cookies that she was leaving for Santa. Her mother happily obliged but never came home. _

"So what are you're parent's like? Hopefully they're not anything like mine and Brooke's." Nathan asked looking from his bowl of mixed eggs.

"Well I don't know my mom. I have very little memories of her. She died when I was five. And my dad…well he and I aren't exactly 'tight.' We struggled for the longest time with money, he was always working two jobs and I never got to see him. Than he found one job to cover the pay of the two jobs he had before plus some but he was always traveling so I still never got to see him. He got remarried last spring." she explained and a small laugh came from her lips as she continued to stir the butter in the pan. "He got married a week before I graduated and as on his honeymoon when I received my diploma."

"So you were alone most of the time?" Nathan asked feeling completely sad for her having to live through that. He and Brooke were alone most of the time but they still had one another. Haley had no one.

"Yeah, but it was ok. What about you? I mean Brooke says that your parents travel a lot too. "she said finally looking up.

"My mom and step dad travel a lot. My mom likes to spend my real father's money and my step dad likes to help her do that."

"They don't work?"

"Well when my dad was still alive-"

"I had no idea." Haley said quietly.

"Yeah, Brooke doesn't like to talk about it. She'd just rather people assume that Derek is our father. But our dad, Dan, died when we were I think nine or ten. He started off as a car salesman and scrimped and saved until he could buy his own sports management company. It eventually became the second largest in the country because of all the connections Dad had. But he was out scouting one day in Texas and collapsed right there on the football field. "Nathan sighed, memories of his father flashing through his mind. "He taught me everything I know about basketball. He was one of the greats in college. He almost went pro but decided instead to settle down and raise a family. It just sucks for me and Brooke that he doesn't get to see all that we've accomplished. I think he would be proud of us you know?"

"Oh he would be proud of you." Haley soothed, rubbing his hand over the counter.

"Yeah, I know. Anyway, my mom had worked for a company that got funding for different medical researches. She was away sometimes but most of the time she was a really good mom. Baked the cookies and packed the lunches. But after Dad died, she fell apart. Derek was Dad's VP and once he was out of the way, Derek moved in to seize the company and my mom. Unfortunately for him, my dad made sure that until I was twenty one no one could sell the company and at that time I could have it if I so desired. So Derek settled on marrying my mom and spending my dad's money. He made my life living hell though. Brooke's too."

"She mentioned something about moving out at sixteen?"

"Yup. We had monthly allowances from what Dad left us and so we got ourselves emancipated and got this apartment. It was hard but we did it. I wanted to play ball and Brooke wanted to be the doctor. I think we did alright for ourselves." Nathan finished smiling.

"I think that's really brave." she said looking up at him. He was now standing beside her at the stove as she molded the batter into different and odd shapes. "Oh put lots and lots of cheese in mine. It's my favorite."

"Anything for you my love." Nathan responded in a horrible British accent. "You are destroying those pancakes." he laughed.

"I am not!" she defended herself but started laughing when she looked down at her creation. "Ok but at least their funny." she said bumping his hip with her own.

"Are we interrupting something?" Brooke said from the doorway, Jake's arm draped across her shoulders.

"Our cooking." Nathan retorted. "You could have some as long as Brooke isn't being nosey." he continued over his shoulder.

"You two are rather cozy." Brooke said from stool at the counter she had just sat at. Nathan turned around and glared at her, as did Haley, and Brooke threw her hands up in innocence. "What? I'm making an observation, not prying."

"Sure, Brooke." Nathan, Haley, and Jake said at the same time. Brooke feigned hurt before letting a devilish grin take over her face.

"So everything went okay last night?" Jake asked.

"Haley hates the pink room."

"Nathan!" Haley scolded, swatting him with a wash cloth. "I don't hate the pink room. It just makes me a little nauseous."

"You know, maybe I really should've went neutral with that bedroom." Brooke conceded. "So wait, where did you sleep Haley?"

"In my room with me." Nathan grinned causing Brooke and Jake's mouth to open in shock.

"Jaws off the floor Jagelski and future Mrs. We were underneath separate blankets and completely clothed." Haley clarified.

"Not in my mind." Nathan joked as Haley blushed.

"Oh God. Gag me." Brooke exasperated. "Alright lets eat so I can make you gorgeous Haley and we can use that nice little credit card that daddy sent you in the mail."

"That's for emergencies."

"Ok, hold on." Brooke said getting up and leaving the room. A few minutes later she came back into the kitchen holding up a particular item of clothing that Haley owned. "See now this…this is an emergency."

"My grandmother made me that! It's cute." she said snatching the croqueted poncho out of Brooke's hands. This cause laughter from the entire group including Haley who pouted for a minute and then joined in. "Ok so maybe…"

"You've gotta put that on." Nathan chuckled grabbing it from her hands and trying to figure out how it went on. "Wait, let me get something." he said rummaging through the adjacent office. "Okay put it on and say 'cheese.'" Haley laughed but did as she was told and even posed for the Polaroid that Nathan had snapped. "This is going on the fridge."

"You should retire that thing Haley." Jake teased.

"Ok fine. You ALL made you're point. Well what are we waiting for Brooke? My dad has a lot of Christmases to make up for." Haley replied grabbing Brooke's hand and dragging her down the hall, forgetting completely about breakfast.

An hour later, after much protesting from Jake, Brooke was finally able to be free to take Haley shopping. Haley noticed Nathan looking a bit sad about the whole idea but he shrugged it off like a pro once Jake suggested playing some ball. Peyton had met up with them and she was being dragged with Haley from boutique to boutique. Haley felt slightly guilty for using the 'emergency' credit card but shook it off knowing that her new step mom was probably using it more than she was.

"You know we're getting your hair done too right?" Brooke said over her shoulder, leading Haley and Peyton down the sidewalk.

"Oh, no I'm not." Haley protested.

"Yes, you are. I mean don't get me wrong, you're a gorgeous brunette but just think about how knockout you'd be with blonde."

"BLONDE?"

"Not like Fauxdilocks over there, but maybe just some blonde highlights. Trust me."

"The last time I trusted you Brooke I ended up in flat on my face." Haley pointed out.

"Hooker heels?" Peyton asked and Haley nodded. "Been there." she laughed.

"Oh my God. That dress is perfect for you tutor girl." Brooke said stopping in front of a store window. "You have to buy that."

Half and hour later and six bags later, they were settling down in the salon ready to get done over. Haley continued protesting the blonde as Peyton laughed about it. Finally she conceded and as Haley winced through the trim and color of her hair, Peyton and Brooke settled on getting a manicure.

"This is pointless Brooke. All my paints are going to ruin them." Peyton said looking at her hands getting royal treatment.

"Well until then, they'll look gorgeous. How you holding up tutor girl?" Brooke said from across the aisle.

"Pain." Haley simply replied.

"So, uh, Brooke mentioned that you and Nathan slept together in aww, we feel asleep by accident kind of way." Peyton said which caused a glare from Haley.

"Brooke should keep her mouth shut." Haley retorted which caused all three girls to laugh. "However, since that's not going to happen, it was nothing. I've slept in a bed with a guy before without having sex with him. It's not a big deal. "

"Yeah but none of those guys are Nathan Scott." Peyton pointed out.

Haley nodded, not sure how to respond to that. In one night, Nathan Scott had drastically changed Haley's whole world. She wasn't the shy, insecure person she was at Harvard that Brooke practically had to drag out. She was flirty and confident and she kind of liked that in herself.

"Nate! Jake!" Brooke called once she and Haley had entered the apartment from they're day of shopping and makeovers. "Oh jeez Haley, stop messing with your hair. It's perfect ok?" Brooke said swatting Haley's hand from her hair.

"I've never done anything like this before and it's kind of scary." Haley replied.

"Hey babe." Jake greeted coming down the hallway and kissing Brooke. "How was you're day."

"It's was fantastic. I got something for you." Brooke winked which caused Jake's smile to broaden considerably.

"Ahem, excuse me." Haley said faking a gag as she walked by.

"Put on that outfit I pick out for you. We are going clubbing tonight the New York way." Brooke called out after her and Haley didn't turn around, putting her hand up signaling she understood.

"Oh hey, I didn't know you would be in here." Haley said once she entered Nathan's room. He was sitting on his bed, playing NBA Live and barely glanced at her. "I mean I know this is your room and all but ok, I'm just going to shut up now."

"Yeah, just trying to unwind from all the work out that Jake and I did today. " Nathan replied chuckling at her rambling.

"I'm going to head to the shower and wipe away New York from me."

Haley stepped out of the shower a short time later and stepped into her robe. She wiped the steamed mirror off and pulled her newly redone hair into a messy bun. Today had been fun and she was glad that Brooke had talked her into it. Now if she still thought that when her father called and fussed at her for running up a 6,000 dollar credit card bill she didn't know.

"Hey Brooke says hurry you're-" Nathan said coming into the bathroom, startling Haley. His words fell short upon the sight of her in her robe. Just her robe. " she uh, says hurry up."

"Oh, ok." she said softly.

"You uh, yeah, wow."


	3. Loneliness

**A/N: Enjoy.**

Loneliness

Haley had to literally laugh out loud at the sight of Nathan stuttering over her. Simple Haley James. She wasn't so simple anymore though. Now she was blonde and about to be dressed in an outfit that was anything but what she would pick out for herself. They were going to a party tonight, some friend of theirs, and Brooke demanded that Haley look hot. Apparently she was doing just that in only her robe.

"Stop acting like you've never seen a girl in just a robe. Or anything less than that." Haley said once she finished laughing.

"This is very true." he smirked. "However, it had never been you."

"Well it never will be me again so you need to go so I can actually finish getting dressed."

"Sure you don't want me to stay?" he asked and she smiled, walking up to him and leaning in close to his ear to whisper something.

"Oh, I'm sure." she whispered before pushing him out the door.

**Loneliness**

_It was yet another Christmas spent alone, her father begging off for some business trip, something she didn't understand that had to take place two days before Christmas. She was fifteen then and what she wanted more than anything was to not wake up alone on Christmas morning. She was tired of being alone period. What really disappointed her the most was sitting there, wrapped in a pretty pink box was a pretty pink sweater that made her want to rip it to shreds. Her father simple couldn't remember that she loathe the color pink. How hard was that to remember anyway? She guessed it was fairly hard if you were never around to begin with._

Twenty minutes later she had blown dried her hair, letting the curls fall just below her shoulders and slipped on the little black number that Brooke had picked out for her. It was simple, spaghetti strapped, and just about her knees. Not too short and definitely elegant. She walked down the hallway to the living room where the five life long friends were laughing about something, all stopping once Haley cleared her throat.

"Look at you tutor girl! You look bitchin'." Brooke exclaimed from her position on Jake's lap. "Doesn't she Jake?" Brooke asked and Jake stuttered for a response.

"Don't answer that Jake. No matter what you say, you'll get in trouble." Nathan warned. "But I'll answer for you. She looks incredible." he said staring directly at her.

"Way hot Hales." Peyton added.

"Ok, um, flattering as all this may be, can we move on and get going?" Haley asked, hesitant about all the attention on her.

* * *

It was a little over an hour later that arrived at the party. Apparently, Haley learned, Mouth McFadden was a close friend of the groups that was throwing this party in celebration for a supposed engagement to a girl they did not know. They were excited to see all of their old friends but Haley was a nervous wreck about being in a place where she knew no one.

"Relax, I'll be around." Nathan whispered in her ear, placing a hand on the small of her back. She smiled at him, relieved that he knew exactly what she was feeling.

"So who do you think this mystery girl is?" Peyton asked scanning the room.

"I have no idea but she better be good to him." Brooke responded, her bond with Mouth strong. "Mouth!" she squealed upon seeing him across the room. She made her way over to him and threw herself into his arms. "Where is she?" she demanded once she calmed down.

"Gee, I'm good. Been doing really great in school. How are you by the way?" Mouth laughed. "She's around her somewhere."

"Oh, Mouth, this is my friend and roommate Haley. She's spending Christmas with us." Brooke said introducing the two and they shook hands.

"It's nice to meet you." Haley smiled, glancing around seeing that the boys had wondered off. While Brooke, Mouth, and Peyton caught up, she barely listened as she looked out into the crowd of people. It was then that she noticed Nathan, looking fairly uncomfortable with a petite blonde next to him. "Peyton, who's that?" Haley asked nudging Peyton.

"Oh my God. I'm going to kill that bitch." Peyton seethed, moments away from storming over there.

"Peyton, who is she?" Haley commanded holding Peyton in place.

"Madison." she finally answered. "It's a really long story…"

"I know. I'll take care of it."

"Nathan." he heard his name called in that sickening sweet way he used to be drawn to. Now, it made him want to gag.

"What do you want Madison?" Nathan sighed, turning around to face her. She hadn't changed much from high school, not like it surprised him. This whole encounter didn't surprise him; he was doing so well in basketball that he knew she would want to come back.

"I missed you of course." she replied, placing her hands on his chest. "Now, you know you missed me too."

"Actually…" Nathan started but was interrupted when Haley was at his side, pushing Madison away, and wrapping his arms around her.

"Actually, we're engaged." Haley finished, leaning up and giving Nathan a kiss on the cheek. However, Nathan misunderstood and turned his head just in time to kiss her firmly on the lips.

"Engaged? Hmm, interesting. You think I would've heard something about that by now. I heard you hadn't even been with anyone. No ring either." Madison responded, clearly not effected by their affection.

"Well I have been with her. It just happened a few days ago actually. Spur of the moment type thing. " Nathan responded, as Haley was too speechless that they had kissed to ad anything.

"How long?" Madison asked.

"Since August."

"Really. And, you know I didn't even catch your name, where do you go to school?" Madison asked smiling again.

"It's uh, I'm Haley. I go to Harvard." Haley responded, finally finding her voice.

"She's Brooke's roommate." Nathan added.

"Really? Brooke actually made it into Harvard?"

"Don't you dare talk about her like that!" Haley exclaimed. She had no idea where that came from but she was pissed about this whole episode. "Just because you can't handle the fact you obviously screwed up and threw away a really great guy and are jealous because Brooke can actually accomplish something far better than anything you've done doesn't mean you get to come over here to dump on her, dump on me, and dump on my relationship with Nathan. "

"I think that's your cue to leave." Nathan responded coldly, wrapping his arms further around Haley.

"You know, it's really sad how you expect me to believe this whole charade. It's pathetic. You and I both know that you've been alone since I left you brokenhearted in high school. And you, little miss throw a temper tantrum, I'm not done with you. Before all this is over with you're poor fragile heart will have been trampled on. " Madison spat, oddly calm and collected. "Ask Nathan. I never disappoint on my promises." she finished before planting a light kiss on Nathan's cheek. It only took an instant for Haley to respond and slap Madison. Brooke was there moments later smirking at the aftermath.

"Stay away from my family." Brooke seethed as Madison, still calm, walked away. "Nathan, are you okay? Haley?" she asked but Haley was already walking quickly away, her emotions in overdrive.

"I'll go." Nathan said simply as he rushed after her. He finally found her, sitting outside on the fire escape, softly crying. "Hey."

"Hi." she said quietly as he took a seat beside her. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asked, placing his jacket around her shoulders.

"I don't even know you and I'm pretending we're engaged and yelling at your ex. I very well may have ruined a chance for you to get back together with her. I mean you looked so uncomfortable-" she rambled and he cut her off by leaning over and gently kissed her on the lips. "And you kissed me."

"Yeah I did. You saved me out there." he said forcing her to look at him. "She's right though. I was alone all this time. She knows me too well. But she was wrong when she said that stuff about you."

"Really? What is this Nathan? I've known you for two days. Two days. I'm already sleeping in a bed with you, bonding with you, kissing you, missing you. How do you do that?" she asked, trying to wipe away her tears.

"I don't really know." he answered honestly. "I know it was kinda hot you bitching out my ex though. And slapping her." he laughed and she laughed too, her tears finally going away. "It's only three weeks Hales. We'll just see where it goes and what happens. It doesn't have to be some epic romance. Don't pretend that you haven't been lonely."

"It's scary how much you know me." she replied. "I've been lonely my whole life. Not to be a whiner or anything but that's just a fact. I don't want to be alone anymore though. But let's just say that we do this, this thing. Three weeks. And after three weeks? If there's something more than that? Not saying that there will be or anything but stranger things have happened."

" It's not strange for someone to miss you. Or care about you. Or lo…well, you know. We'll just have to cross that bridge when we get to it." he answered, leaning over and kissing her once more. She smiled against his lips when she felt him doing the same.

"Would you be surprised if I told you that back there, in the party, was my first kiss?" she asked once they broke apart.

"Yeah, because I don't think you would let anyone kiss you unless it were special."

"Oh and you think you're special?" she retorted.

"Of course." he responded cockily, winking. "Come on, lets go back inside, it's freezing out here." he said pulling her up to her feet.

They walked back into the party, hand and hand, as Mouth was making a toast and introducing his bride to be. Nathan wasn't shocked to see Haley genuinely happy for someone she had just met. He eyed Brooke from across the room, mouthing if they were okay and he nodded, pulling Haley closer to his body. She winked at him, situating herself further into Jake's arms.

"…ok so I know all of you really don't care about all that mumbo jumbo. All you really care about is who was lucky enough to snag me, I know. Gigi, you wanna come up here?" he asked scanning the crowd and smiled, once she reached where he was standing. He kissed her passionately, and she giggled with the crowd.

"Way to go Mouth!" Brooke screamed from her spot in the room. "She's a hottie!"

Pretty soon, the party was in mingling mood again, with the occasionally slow dance that a few couple shared. Brooke and Jake were dancing slowly as she laughed about something he was whispering in her ear. Nathan and Haley were dancing also, his eyes never leaving hers as he twirled her around. Lucas was in the corner, chatting with Mouth and Gigi and Peyton was walking up to a certain blonde, green envy glowing through her usual blue ones.

"They really do make a cute couple don't they?" Peyton asked, once she reached the other blonde's side.

"It's really quite sickening actually." Madison retorted.

"You'll never learn will you? You only want him back because he's going someplace with his talent. And by the looks of things, he taking a different blonde with him."

"That won't last long."

"That's funny you say that. You see the way he's looking at her? So deep in her eyes, full of something, not quite developed but it'll get here? He never looked at you like that." Peyton responded just as Lucas was walking up to them.

"Care for a dance gorgeous?" Lucas smile and Peyton nodded, taking his hand, leaving a seething Madison. Something Peyton had said, finally made her lose her cool and collected manner.

"Mind if I cut in?" Madison asked walking up to Nathan and Haley.

"You just don't give up do you?" Nathan exasperated, not letting go of Haley.

"Not on something I really want."

"Come on Hales, we're leaving." Nathan said grabbing Haley's hand and leading her out the door.

"I always get what I want." Madison called after them but they completely ignored her before exiting.

* * *

Haley was lying in Nathan's bed, clothed in his sweats, eye glasses perched on her nose, reading a book. Nathan had apologized profusely since they had left and she tried to tell him that it was okay. He said he would make it up to her by fixing her some food, saying he would surprise her. When he walked in a few minutes later, she smiled and moved over so he could sit down with the tray in between them.

"Macaroni and cheese?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course. My favorite. I live off this stuff at school." he replied grinning. "What? It's food for the gods."

"Are the gods suddenly five year olds?" she asked laughing. "I'm kidding. I love it too."

"So do you want me to conveniently fall asleep in here with you tonight?" Nathan asked.

"Well now, if I go to the bathroom and you're asleep when I come out I don't think I would make a move to wake you or be completely opposed to you staying." she responded coyly.

"Let me stay with you." he asked seriously. "I like having you in my arms. No rushing remember?" he added, noticing her hesitancy.

"You don't think things are going a little bit fast right now?"

"They're going." he responded simply and she nodded. Soon, they had cleaned off the bed of their food, climbing in underneath the covers. Haley turned of the light and snuggled in against Nathan's chest. He kissed her exposed back softly and that's how they feel asleep. Together, for the second night in a row.


	4. Deception

**A/N: I'm getting questions about how fast this story is moving. Yes, it's fast. It's suppose to. It can happen. It's only a few weeks time period and it only has five chapters left. You're going to hate Nathan after this chapter. Fair warning there. Uh, thanks for all who reviewed and who liked the story. Hope you enjoy the update. Drop the love. **

Deception

One Week Later

It was now Christmas Eve and Haley was steadily dreading it. While the past week was amazing, waking up with Nathan, spending time with him, she felt herself falling, and fast and she knew it was too soon. Too soon to believe that nothing bad would happen this winter, too soon for everything. She was just nineteen and everything was happening too fast. Her heart was trying to catch up with her body and her body was trying to catch up with her mind.

"Hales you okay?" Nathan asked as he walked out of the bathroom, buttoning up the cuffs of his shirt. Tonight they were going the Christmas party that his mom and step dad were throwing. It was a black tie event and boy did Nathan look good in his tux.

"Hmm? Yeah I'm okay. A little nervous about meeting your mom. I'm kind of confused why we're going. I thought you and Brooke didn't get along with you're parents?" Haley said putting in her earrings.

"We don't get along with Derek. We try to see our mom though. We still remember when she was a better mother and we miss that."

"That's really nice of you. Hey umm, we're not going to run into Madison are we?" Haley asked hesitantly.

"God I hope not. She might be there though. Don't worry, I'll protect you." he said kissing her bare neck.

"Oh because you did such a good job of that last time? If I remember correctly, I protected you." Haley laughed.

"Way to tear down a man there Hales." Nathan replied shaking his head. He went over to his dresser and pulled out a box setting it down on the counter in front of her. "This is for you."

"It's not Christmas yet and even then you didn't have to get me anything." Haley responded picking up the box.

"I know and it's not for Christmas. Now open it." he replied and she gingerly opened the box. She openly gasped at the necklace inside of it. Nathan smiled and picked it up, placing it around her neck. "You like it? It looks gorgeous on you."

"Oh I love it. I can't accept this though. It's too much. " she said fingering the silver chain with a tiny sapphire dangling from it.

"Of course you can accept it and you will. It was my grandmother's. She always told me to give it to someone special. It's funny how I never thought once to give it to Madison and with you I couldn't think of anyone better to give it to. " he chuckled.

"So uh, I got you a…kiss?" she laughed awkwardly leaning up and giving him a kiss on the lips. Soon, it had escalated into something more and Haley was doing nothing to stop it.

"Tutor girl, Nathan, let's…oh my God. My eyes!" Brooke said coming into the bathroom and witnessing the make out session that her brother and best friend were partaking in.

"Oh please, like I haven't seen you and Jake in a more compromising position than that." Nathan retorted, rolling his eyes and untangling himself from Haley.

"Besides the point. Are you ready? We have to be there in like, okay so we had to be there twenty minutes ago." Brooke replied, looking at her watch.

"Are you bring Jenny?" Nathan asked, pulling on his coat.

"Mom doesn't even know we're engaged Nathan. She thinks he just some really good friend. " Brooke sighed.

"Brooke, if your mom can't be happy for you then that's her problem. You're happy and you're in love and you're going to get married. Don't be ashamed of that. Don't be ashamed of Jenny either." Haley said, giving Brooke a soothing pat on the back. "I've gotta go make a phone call." she said before leaving the two siblings alone.

**Deception**

_Haley hated that more than anything. The fact that year end and year out, her father deceived her into thinking that he would be home for Christmas. And every year, she foolishly believe that he would be there Christmas morning. This Christmas would be no different._

"You're in love with her?" Brooke bluntly once Haley had left.

"What are you talking about?"

"You gave her grandma's necklace. Nathan's it's been a week. A week." Brooke said, placing her hands on her hips.

"Thanks for the lesson Brooke. I realize this." Nathan responded, annoyed.

"Well are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Are you in love with her?"

"No. I'm not in love with her. Is she special? Yes. Do I care about her a lot? Yes. The fact still remains that we go to separate schools. I still have basketball taking up the majority of my time. It won't work Brooke." Nathan exasperated.

"So what the hell are you doing? Having a little fling before you go back to school?" Brooke asked, getting slightly angry at her brother.

"You wouldn't understand. Not everyone can be you and Jake."

"Explain it to me Nathan. I'm dying to know why you're stringing her along for three weeks."

"I lied okay. I haven't been alone while I'm at school." Nathan confessed.

"Who the hell have you been with?"

"Someone, just someone. Haley and I are having fun right now."

"Nathan, are you serious? You're playing with her heart here. She may very well fall in love with you and you have a girlfriend. She couldn't make it huh?" Brooke screamed.

"It's Madison." Nathan blurted out. Brooke took the opportunity to smack him right across his cheek.

"I am so ashamed of you right now Nathan Scott." she seethed. "Explain to me right now." he sighed, taking a seat on the tub and explained to her the entire story.

* * *

Haley, completely oblivious to what happened between the two twins, was in her own little world of bliss. She barely noticed the tension between Brooke and Nathan, so she therefore shrugged it off and enjoyed Nathan's arms being around her. They had arrived at the hotel where Brooke and Nathan's parents were throwing their Christmas bash and were now mingling about.

"Nathan! Brooke! Darlings!" Haley heard a female voice ring throughout the crowd. Brooke visibly grimaced, hugging a sleeping Jenny to her chest, as Jake wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"Mom." Brooke bit out, pasting a fake smile on her flawless face.

"Do you really think it's appropriate to bring a child to these things?" Deb Scott Turner asked annoyed.

"Hey mom." Nathan interrupted, pulling her into a hug, if anything to prevent the carnage that Brooke Scott would lie out on their mom. "I missed you."

"Oh sweetie I missed you too.' she said pulling away. She glanced at Haley wearing the necklace her late husband's mother had owned. "Who's this?"

"This is Haley. She's uh, my…"

"She's his girlfriend." Brooke finished for him. "Right Nathan. You're GIRLFRIEND."

"Yeah Mom, this is Haley, my girlfriend." Nathan grumbled.

"It's really nice to meet…"Haley politely held out her hand which Deb rudely ignored.

"Now back to this child on you shoulder Brooke…" Deb said returning her attention to her daughter. Haley dejected dropped her hand and Nathan made no move to comfort her. He instead walked away from the entire group. Lucas noticed the uncomfortable Haley and gave her a small smile, and placing his arm around her shoulder.

"This child is my daughter." Brooke responded.

"Funny how I never even saw you gain an ounce all this time and yet you still had a child." Deb retorted.

"Well you were never around so how would you really know?"

"Alright, enough of this." Jake interjected.

"Oh and there he is. The royal screw up of the Jagelski family." Deb responded, glaring at Jake.

"Peyton, take Jenny for me while ya?" Brooke asked handing a now sleeping Jenny to Peyton. "Let's get this straight okay Deb? Whether or not you agree with what Jake has done in his life doesn't matter. For one, like you have room to talk. Daddy barely buried and your off marrying some gold digging pervert. Jenny is my daughter in more ways unbiologically than you are and you gave birth to me! Oh and F.Y.I I'm doing great in Harvard and I'm going to marry Jake!" she screamed.

"Do whatever you want Brookie. I really could care less." Deb responded coldly.

"When did you become such a bitch? What happened to that woman who made us cookies and read us bedtime stories?"

"She must've died along side her husband." Deb replied before walking off.

* * *

Nathan knew it was wrong to just walk away from Haley and Brooke to suffer the wrath of Hurricane Deb. Hell, what wasn't he doing wrong these days. If anything, the stinging sensation he still had on his cheek was enough to really make him feel like a jackass. He was a jackass. He watched from afar as Lucas put his arm around Haley, trying his best to get her to smile. As jealousy panged in his stomach, he knew he deserved the award for the biggest hypocrite in the world.

"Hey you." Madison said from behind him. Yup, still cringed and still didn't walk away. "Here. Be there in ten minutes." she said slipping a room key in his pocket.

Briefly he wondered about Haley and if she would be alright but gave up to temptation and made his way up to the sixth floor. Why he was putting himself in this predicament he didn't know but he wasn't stopping it. When Madison had showed up at his dorm room months before he was shocked and surprisingly, glad. He was a fool to admit that he wasn't lonely and being the fool he was, easily accepted her back into his life. They agreed to keep the whole affair secret during Christmas and Nathan hadn't counted on Haley.

"Finally." Madison said once Nathan slipped inside the door. Within seconds, she was on him, kissing him.

"Madison, wait. We need to talk." Nathan said, gently pushing her away.

"About that pathetic little girl you're fooling around with behind my back?"

"I'm only kissing her and consider us equal for you cheating on me."

"Riight. And I'm suppose to pretend that I didn't see the necklace I wanted so bad for so long hanging from her neck?" Madison responded coyly.

"Well I'm not going to lie and say I don't care about her."

"Do you really want me to trample her?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Break it off, get the necklace back, and admit to everyone that you're seeing me. Otherwise I'll be forced to tell them myself."

"Brooke already knows. She pretty much hates me right now." Nathan sighed sitting on the bed beside her. "It's only two more weeks Madison. Then she'll be gone from our lives."

"Why do you need to see her and kiss her when you can have all of me?"

"I can have all of you right now?" he smirked, glad that he accomplished changing the subject when she climbed on top of him, kissing him. He didn't know how to answer her without lying and quite frankly he was sick of lying. So he let himself be weak and allowed himself to be entranced by Madison. Not even the sexy blonde and all her tricks could make him forget about the one he held in his arms for the past two weeks.

* * *

Brooke convinced Haley to give up on trying to find Nathan and to come home with them. Considering the nights events, they had left fairly quickly. While Peyton went to her apartment, Lucas offered to keep Haley comfortable at Brooke's. Brooke in turn, went with Jake and Jenny to his apartment for Christmas Eve. Suddenly, Christmas was starting to suck again and with that, all the joy Haley had experienced earlier. She changed into her own pair of pajamas, for the first time since she arrived, and took off the pretty necklace, placing it back into the box. She didn't even think twice about sleeping in the pink room that night.

"So, I was thinking we settle in and watch the 24 hour marathon of 'A Christmas Story.'" Lucas said once Haley reappeared in the living room.

"That sound really horrible, but considering the alternative, pretty good." Haley said plopping down beside Lucas on the couch. He instantly swung his arm around her shoulders and she comfortably settled into the crook of his neck. "Where do you think he is?"

"I don't know." Lucas lied. In all actuality he had saw Madison slip the hotel key in Nathan's pocket and him following her a few minutes later. "I'm sure wherever he is, he's thinking of you though."

"I highly doubt that but thank you for lying to me. Thanks for being a good friend to me even though we basically just met." Haley replied, yawning.

"It's no problem. Besides, Peyton has some mystery guy she won't tell me about and so I'm stuck with you."

"So I'm just winner by default?" Haley joked, sniffling. Lucas immediately looked down to see Haley crying. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Being a mess. I think I should just go to bed." Haley said getting up. Lucas was quick to follow suit.

"Oh it's okay. Yeah, you should get some sleep." he said making his way to the door.

"Lucas…" Haley called out. Lucas paused as he was opening the door and turned to face Haley. "Stay with me tonight?" she asked and he nodded, shutting the door behind him.


	5. Joy

**A/N: Enjoy. :) I think you might like the outcome. **

Joy

When Haley woke up this Christmas morning she wasn't alone. She looked around the pink room and nearly gagged but smiled looking at the sleeping boy next to her. She really didn't know where Nathan was, and frankly she didn't really care. He had left her alone with his rude and sorry excuse for a mother without a word. It was Lucas who came to her rescue and he barely even knew her. But Lucas was no Nathan, that much was evident from last night.

"So I'm just going to say Christmas without the 'merry' since this one pretty much blew." Haley said yawning. Lucas stretched out, laughing.

"About last night…" Lucas started.

"It's fine." she smiled.

**Joy.**

_The feeling Christmas is suppose to evoke out of you. She felt that exactly once in all her nineteen years. She was four, and somehow, by some sort of miracle, she distinctly remembers sitting beside her mother at the piano, singing Christmas carols. Her father was also there, singing off key and they were truly happy. She loved that memory most, out of everything and held on to it with all her might._

"Breakfast?" he suggested.

"Hmm…I was thinking more along the lines of presents." she winked.

"So I got you a…handshake?"

"Well I guess breakfast will have to do then." Haley pouted, pulling the covers back and getting out of bed.

"HALEY?" Haley head jerked up at the sound of Nathan's voice coming down the hall. She looked at Lucas, slightly panicked, and prayed he wouldn't look in the pink room for her.

"Damn it!" she yelped as she hit her foot on the edge of the bed. Damn her klutziness.

"Hales…?" Nathan asked curiously as he entered the pink guest bedroom. "Lucas?" he asked, seeing him in the bed, getting more than angry with his friend. "What the hell is this!" Lucas was instantly out of the bed, pushing Nathan out of the bedroom and into his own.

"This is nothing compared to what you did!" Lucas seethed once they were in the comforts of Nathan's room.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Nathan responded coolly.

"The hell you do. So how is Madison, formally and reborn into a skank?"

"Lucas…" Nathan begged, knowing that he was going to lose this battle. " You can't tell Haley."

"Oh believe me, if I were going to tell Haley it would've been last night. No, you're going to be the man and do that all by yourself Nate."

"I'm not telling her anything." Nathan stubbornly refused.

"Then break things off with her, it's not fair to her. She's a good person and she doesn't deserve that. I thought you and Madison were over anyway."

"We were okay? Things changed." Nathan sighed, taking a seat on the bed, preparing himself to divulge the whole story. "She showed up about three months ago wanting a reconciliation. I blatantly refused."

"Obviously."

"You wanna know or not? She wouldn't stop for a week straight. Then she caught me on one of the rare times I actually drink. Hell, she's the one that drove me to drink in the first place. Then it just happened. Now it's like I can't stop it. We agreed to keep quiet over the break and that's why I acted like I hated her. Who am I kidding, I still do."

"But Haley…"

"Haley was something I wasn't expecting. Okay I see that I'm trying to get the best of both worlds here. Haley I've got this deep emotional connection with, someone I can really talk to. Then there's Madison. We communicate in…different ways. Lucas I don't know what to do." Nathan finished finally.

* * *

Haley decided it was best to ignore the two friends who were clearly having a moment and went to make breakfast. Her heart wasn't into a full meal so she settled on Cheerios and sat down to eat. Now that Nathan was home and obviously pissed at what he saw she was curious as to his own whereabouts but she wouldn't ask him. This whole thing was a ridiculous little fling for the Christmas holidays. It's not even like they slept together yet. Yet? What was she thinking? There wouldn't even be a yet.

"Hey you." Brooke said softly walking into the kitchen. Haley looked up and gave Brooke a smile and went back to eating her food. "Merry Christmas?"

"Lucas and I decided it would just be Christmas this year."

"He stayed here?"

"Yeah, I hope you don't mind but Nathan was gone, you were gone, and I just really didn't feel like being alone." Haley replied, getting up and putting her bowl in the sink.

"No, no that's okay. Nothing happened right?" Brooke said taking a seat down at the counter beside Haley and to her surprise Haley actually giggled.

"That's too funny. I gave him a kiss good night."

"With tongue?" Brooke asked shocked.

"Yeah, Brooke, we had a full blown out make up session." Haley laughed. "No, it was a good night slash thank you slash Christmas kiss."

"Well you know Lucas is pretty good guy…"

"Unlike Nathan who at the moment is anything but? It doesn't matter Brooke that he ditched me last night to do whatever it he did. I'm not betrothed to him or anything."

"Where are they anyway?" Brooke asked looking around.

"They, I assume, are in Nathan's bedroom having a hushed discussion. Top secret you know." Haley winked. Surprisingly she was a cheerful mood this morning. "Oh hey, morning Jake, Jenny." she greeted as they walked into the kitchen. Jake planted a kiss on Brooke's forehead as she got up.

"I'll be right back…"

"You want some breakfast?" Haley asked and Jake nodded. Just because she didn't want to eat it, didn't mean she couldn't fix it. "So how's Christmas this year?" she asked, searching for ingredients.

"You wanna know a secret?" Jake smirked.

"Absolutely."

* * *

Nathan was still sitting on the bed, looking between his sister and his best friend as they argued. They reminded him of old married couples who argued over how to best reprimand the child in front of them. The child, of course, being him. Brooke was arguing that she just stomp Madison and tell Haley and Lucas argued in favor of making Nathan grow up and make his own decisions.

"Well clearly, Nathan can't make his own decisions. Otherwise we wouldn't be in this mess anyway!" Brooke snapped.

"Well then let him mess up. This is all going to blow up in his face and you know it. Madison won't let this go on." Lucas reasoned.

"And Haley?" Brooke said softly. "If she finds out from Madison or some other third party without Nathan coming clean with the truth now, she'll be crushed."

"Brooke, you act like Haley is in love with me." Nathan pointed out.

"You act like you're in love with her. Why can't I just assume that she could possibly feel the same way?" Brooke retorted. She sighed, taking a seat beside Nathan. "You're my brother and I love you but you're messing up really big. Haley would be really good for you Nathan."

"It's not going to happen okay? There are other factors. I'm with Madison now and tonight I'll break things off with Haley." he said and Lucas, getting frustrated, left the room.

"You have no idea what you're giving up." Brooke said quietly before repeating the same actions as Lucas had previously done.

"I know exactly what I'm giving up." he said sadly.

* * *

The rest of the day went by relatively fast for Haley. Although Nathan was there physically with the group, he was distant and besides for a short 'hey' they hadn't spoken the entire day. They spent the day opening presents and generally just talking and being with one another. Tomorrow, they were leaving early in the morning to go a little up north to Brooke and Nathan's family cabin. As of right now, they were at Jake's lounging in front of the fire place, drinking hot cocoa.

"Ok, so I have an announcement to make." Jake said standing up in front of the group. "You all know we're engaged."

"Jake…" Brooke started, panic consuming her.

"Come on, Brooke, get up here so we can tell them together." Jake said pulling the brunette up to her feet.

"Jake don't do this." Brooke pleaded.

"We were going to wait a little while to tell everyone but,"

"We got married." Brooke blurted out, more than annoyed.

"What about school?" Nathan asked. "Brooke what the hell are you thinking?"

"Like you're really one to talk Nathan Scott." she replied angrily. "Haley, Peyton, kitchen, now." she commanded and they scrambled to go to the kitchen.

"Thanks for clueing in your best friends." Peyton said once they sat down at the kitchen counter.

"Well I already knew." Haley responded. Both Brooke and Peyton looked at her for some sort of explanation. "Jake told me this morning." she shrugged.

"It just happened okay. Jake was suppose to keep his mouth shut. Now, I have a bigger problem."

"What could possibly be bigger than you getting married?" Peyton questioned.

"She's pregnant." Haley answered as Brooke's mouth hung open.

"How do you know that!" Peyton and Brooke said at the same time.

"I live with you Brooke. Kinda obvious when you hog up the bathroom, not for beauty, but for emptying the contents of your stomach."

"And let me guess, you haven't told Jake yet." Peyton filled in.

"Look, the whole marriage thing happened so fast I didn't get a chance to say it."

"It take three seconds to say 'I'm pregnant.' You couldn't find three seconds?" Peyton asked sarcastically.

"I don't really need your sarcasm Peyton." Brooke bit out before breaking down and crying. "This ruins everything!"

"No it doesn't." Haley soothed. "Look Brooke, your married to a great guy you loves you to pieces. You have a beautiful daughter already. You're pregnant with Jake's child. Jake; the goofy guy that serenades you on our answering machine. The one that sends you letters every week. The love of your life. Be happy, Brooke. You're gonna have a great life."

* * *

Haley stepped out onto the adjacent patio a couple of hours later, eager to get away from all the joy. While she was happy for Brooke and Jake, she was anything but for herself. Brooke announced the pregnancy and while Jake looked more than fearful at first, it quickly went to him jumping on a couch, ecstatic. Very TomKat. She knew it was Nathan that opened the door, without even looking around. She had felt his eyes on her all night and was wondering when he would ever approach her.

"I'm sorry." he said softly. She rolled her eyes before turning around.

"You owe me nothing Nathan. This, between us, is nothing." she scoffed.

"That's not true."

"Oh isn't it though. We're like friends with benefits and we barely benefit."

"I'm not asking for that. I like talking to you." Nathan replied.

"Oh really, guess the whole kissing thing is another form of talking right?"

"This is more complicated than you think." Nathan sighed.

"No, see that's the beauty of this whole relationship. There is none. There's nothing there to complicate it. Three weeks. Now two. I don't know where you went last night and it's really not my place to ask. Technically I'm not you're girlfriend, or anywhere close to it. You're a great guy Nathan, really. But this is a waste of time, even for Christmas break." Haley responded.

"I really don't think this is a waste of time. I really care about you."

"You see that in there." she asked pointed through the glass doors to where Brooke and Jake were so happy. "That's what I want. Maybe not the marriage and the baby before I get out of school, but I want the love and I want the happiness. If you're not out there looking for what could last forever then what's the point?"

"Who says this can't be that?" he asked, not sure where the question came from. All he knew was that Haley was trying to break away and he was losing her, something he didn't want to happen for one reason or another.

"It just won't work." she finally said trying to walk past him and back into the safety of her reality. This was all just some dream world she couldn't stay in. Before she could get past him though he pulled her into his arms, planting a passionate kiss on her lips. "You can't just do things like that." she whispered once they pulled apart.

"Why not?"

"Because we're not going to work." she said before relinquishing herself from his grasp and started to walk about. The next words out of his mouth made her stop dead in her tracks.

"I think I'm falling for you."


	6. Rage

**A/N: Okay so first of all thanks for all the reviews. Yes, Nathan is a jackass; he's not perfect. This story only has three more chapters tear. So enjoy the update, drop the love. :)**

Rage

As Haley sucked in her breathe, she went over the last five minutes of her life, processing it, and wondering if she had heard Nathan correctly. 'I'm falling for you.' What is that suppose to mean? She hadn't turned around yet, even though it had been a few minutes, content on watching an actual couple, happy with their lives. Finally, she turned around and made her way over to the expecting Nathan. There was only one emotion she felt right now.

**Rage.**

_It was last Christmas when she had finally had enough. Her father was actually home this one Christmas; the first since her mother had passed away. This time he wasn't alone. He brought home his brand new, mostly plastic, fiancé. They had settled down for Christmas dinner and after about the twelfth obvious insult by Tiffany, Haley had snapped, getting up and pouring what was left of her nearly full plate on her perfect platinum blonde hair._

"How could you say that to me?" she screamed, followed quickly by a slap. This was by far, the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard in her life. He recoiled fairly quickly, rubbing his reddened cheek.

"Not the reaction I was hoping for…" he muttered.

"What did you want me to do? Fall into your arms and pretend that this isn't real? No, it's not happening. You're a jackass." she replied, still yelling.

"I don't know what I wanted you to do!" he yelled back. "I felt like I was losing you and I don't want that." he said more softly.

"You never had me." she retorted coldly.

"Keep telling yourself that." he said stepping back from her.

"What makes you so different that any other guy? Why you and why now? Why me? I'm nothing special. If I was so special then I wouldn't have been alone the majority of my life. But no, I know you a week, A WEEK, and you come swooping in like this incredible dream guy and tell me after A WEEK that you're falling for me? I'm supposed to believe that!"

"It's the truth."

"I know no truth. I do facts. Facts like you don't fall in love or start to fall in love with someone after a week. Not even close. I don't know anything about you. And frankly, I don't care. I resigned myself a long, long, time ago that I was going to be alone. That was a fact. Get through high school, go be a doctor, and fill up my life with patients. And then you, you…"

"I showed you that it doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to be alone Haley." he finished, taking a step closer in which she responded taking a step back.

"Oh and what? I'm going to end up with you? Ha, what a freaking joke. Remember what you told me on that fire escape? Three weeks. That's all we get and now I'm cutting it down to one. It was nice but now that's over. Not many people get an easy out clause in love or a relationship. This is yours, take it."

"I'm not taking anything. Especially this line of bull you're feeding me. Just because you've ended up alone the majority of your life doesn't mean that's the way it has to end. You have no idea how special you are. Not a clue and it's right in front of you everyday when you look in the mirror." he told her, closing the distance between them and grabbing her hand before she could make move to leave.

"You don't have to believe me. But the fact still remains that I'm not continuing this with you. I'll only get hurt in the end. I always do." she whispered.

"Don't do this…" he pleaded. She reached up and kissed his nose lightly before stepping back from his grasp.

"Don't say I never gave you anything." she said, giving him a small smile. He looked at her confused but understood as she traced her finger on his chest where his heart lie.

* * *

Nathan sat beside Lucas, who was driving, his head rested on the cold window. In the middle of the SUV sat Brooke and Jake, cuddling, and Haley playing with Jenny in the very back, furthest away from Nathan. Peyton was driving up later on, something about work having to be done. After about an hour and a half, they arrived at their family lodge, but by the looks of two cars in the driveway, they weren't the only ones there.

"What the hell…" Brooke said jumping up and trying to figure out who was there.

"Is that…" Lucas started.

"Yup." Nathan confirmed, his head still planted on the window.

"That evil little witch did this on purpose!" Brooke exclaimed.

"And she means to call her mom that in the most loving way possible." Jake clarified.

"Well who's the other car then?" Lucas asked.

"No clue." Nathan replied.

Lucas pulled up the truck and they all began to pile out. Nathan was the first to back and as he opened up the hatch, Haley was turned around, struggling to get her bag. She looked up to lock eyes with Nathan, but got annoyed with his presence and fumbled to get out of the back. Yeah, because she was so masterful at that. Instead, she nearly fell out of the back of the truck; how, she had no idea but it didn't really matter once Nathan caught her.

"If you had just waited five minutes." Nathan bit out, irritated. Since the night before, that had transformed into petulant four year olds, better at bickering than confronting what really went on the previous night.

"And be in your presence for more than ONE minute? NO." she replied, trying her best and failing horribly at getting out of his arms. Strong, muscular arms bad; Distance good.

"Nathan!" both of their heads jerked up to the one person they did not expect to be here. "So how's the happy couple?"

Madison.

* * *

Awkward wasn't nearly good enough to describe the situation they were thrust into. Besides receiving death glares that Satan would be jealous of from Deb, Madison made no attempt to not flirt with Nathan. Not that Nathan was exactly fighting her off. She felt the sudden urge to respond by sticking her tongue out at him but didn't think that would help anything. Brooke was tugging on her ear, her trademark nervous tick, probably trying to figure out an escape route.

"What are you doing here?" Nathan asked of his mother and step father. The sickening man had at least did the once over on Haley and Brooke at least six times. No wonder Brooke hated the monster.

"Spending some time with our family of course." Deb replied sweetly. Haley really felt like slapping her, Madison, someone, anyone. "So how are my darling daughter and her new husband?"

"We're doing wonderfully." Brooke responded coolly.

"Wondering how I knew? Sweetie, I know everything that goes on, especially something as trivial as your marriage." Deb answered the unasked question.

"I, uh, I'm going to take Jenny up for her nap." Jake announced, kissing Brooke on the cheek before leaving the whole disaster. Clearly, he had thought up a pretty good escape hatch.

"Now Haley was it?" Deb asked turning her attention to Haley after rolling her eyes at Jake. Haley stopped biting her lip and nodded. "So I hear that you're engaged to my son? Funny how I knew nothing about that."

"It was a misunderstanding." Haley replied.

"How do you misunderstand something like that?" Derek asked.

"I asked her to pretend for me so I wouldn't have to deal with Madison that night. Or any other night. And what do you know; you bring her on our trip." Nathan answered.

"That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard." Deb responded. "Madison is a good girl from a good family Nathan. You know, you two made such a good couple before. This week could be good for you, you know."

"Yeah Madison such a good girl, she cheated on me." Nathan deadpanned.

"Hey! That was ages ago! That was the biggest mistake of my life. I lost my one true love." Madison said, fawning over Nathan.

"Ahem." Haley said covering her mouth. Madison turned to glare at her and Nathan looked concerned. "So sorry, I uh, think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Excuse me." she said, trying to contain her giggles, as she left the room, followed closely by Brooke.

"Tell me you did not just use that!" Brooke squealed once they made it into the kitchen. Haley couldn't contain her laughter anymore before completely letting it go.

"The look on your mom and Madison's face…that was priceless." Haley laughed.

"Glad you find this so amusing." Nathan said sternly, looking from the doorway as the two girls continued laughing. They tried their very best to straighten up and be serious, lasting all of two seconds before erupting in another fit of giggles. It wasn't long before Nathan joined in as well.

"That was perfect." Brooke said after a few minutes. "I've gotta go check on Jake and Jenny." she said before exiting the room, leaving Nathan and Haley.

"I can't believe you did that." Nathan said, going to look through the fridge.

"It's how I felt. That girl in general makes me gag." Haley replied, plopping herself down at a stool. "So…I was thinking…"

"About me? Yeah, I know." he answered cockily.

"Ha ha." she deadpanned. "No, I was thinking that we, you and I, should call a truce. At least for this week. Strength in numbers, I say."

"So you want me to pledge my undying allegiance to you?" he asked, an eyebrow slightly raised in amusement.

"For the next week, yes. Then I can leave and be unscathed from you're mother's gamma rays of death and Madison's claws." she chuckled.

"You're leaving?" he asked, suddenly serious.

"Uh, yeah, I am. Going back to school early. There's really no point in me staying here much longer than that." she said picking at the counter.

"Is it because of me?"

"Partly." she answered honestly. "Mostly. Brooke is going to be busy with Jake and I would just rather go back to get prepared for a new semester. Besides, I think I'm gonna have to find another place to live. With the baby and all you know."

"Nathan, babe, you're mother would like us to go shopping." Madison said, breezing in the doorway.

"Right now?" he asked annoyed.

"Yes, right now." she gritted. "Just the two of us." she emphasized. Haley threw her hands up in a surrender.

"He's all yours." she laughed, getting up and walking out of the room, in search of Lucas, which she found sitting in the den, playing the PS2. "Hey, Loser." she said plopping down on the couch.

"Thanks Hales. So did you talk to Nathan?"

"Yes and we're just friends." she said smiling a little.

"You're okay with that?" he asked.

"Don't really have a choice do I?"

"I think it's a good thing. Nathan's my best friend but he's not always on top of things. He gets a bit conflicted."

"I don't really understand…"

"I'm just saying that Nathan may not have been the best person for you."

"Are you trying to hit on me?" Haley asked amused.

"Oh, God no. The kiss the other night didn't mean anything for me." he responded and she frowned. "I mean it's not that you're not beautiful or anything it's just that I have this thing for Peyton…"

"Yeah, yeah, you're in love with her."

"Is it really that obvious?"

"Absolutely. You should tell her, she probably feels the same way. Now, give me that controller so I can school you in playing this thing."

* * *

How this one girl could make him think the most fun, impure thoughts one minute and the most heinous, the next, Nathan did not know. Right now, he was quickly calculating where he would bury the body if she did anything to piss him off. No, he couldn't do that. He probably couldn't convince the jury it was for the greater good of mankind anyway. He hated that smirk that was planted on her flawless face right now. She was up to something, probably orchestrated this whole trip up here.

"What?" he asked after a few moments.

"Hear that? All mine." Madison repeated after Haley had left.

"I'm not some piece of property Madison. We're not even a couple so stop pretending like we are."

"So what are we then? I mean in a few months…"

"Don't okay. I don't want to talk about it. Maybe I'm praying a miracle with happen."

"I'm going to marry you Nathan Scott, whether or not you like it. Now, you can do this all on your own, sweet and romantic; or I can force your hand through your mother. Which is it?" she spat out.

"Later Madison."

"Did you break up with the little prude?" Madison asked as Nathan was leaving the kitchen.

"Obviously it happened didn't it?" Nathan said through clenched teeth before finally leaving the kitchen.

"Perfect."


	7. Passion

**A/N: Yes, Madison is a whore and Nathan isa jackass. Yes, love will save Nathan but sadly does not get rid of Madison. Stupid whore, i know. Anyway, this is the third to last chapter. I know you're sad. So enjoy it while you can. :)**

**A/N2:For those general fans of mine out there yes, i know i haven't update She Is, Havoc, and A Game we Shouldn't play. slaps wrist. I am promising updates on sunday. Try not to crucify me too much if that doesn't happen. There will at least be an update for Havoc b/c I have that half way written...I think. Hmm...**

Passion

Nathan walked into Madison's room that night with one thing in mind. To get her out of his life. He was tired of the games and he was tired of the lying. He didn't want to be with her, even though she was trying to tie him down. And this was his mission tonight. He had a sinking feeling she was lying and the little brown sack he held in his hand was going to tell him the truth.

"Nathan…" she grinned, sitting up straight in the bed.

"Here, take this." he said tossing the brown bag on the bed next to her. She looked at him curiously before opening up the back and pecking in. Her glee quickly turned to rage as she picked up was inside.

"What the hell is this?"

"A pregnancy test. If you want me to marry you I want you to prove to me that you're pregnant."

"No."

"Then I'm not marrying you."

"I shouldn't have to prove anything to you." she gritted out. "Besides that, I've already showed you a test."

"Yeah, a test. Not necessarily the test. So if you are, in fact, pregnant than it won't matter either way. I'll apologize and well get married, done deal. I want proof though."

"Fine Nathan." she cried going into the bathroom. Nathan patiently waited on the bed and five minutes later Madison emerged and threw the test at him. He picked it up and dropped it in the trash can.

"That's what I thought. Goodbye Madison."

Haley woke up next morning and rolled over to slam right into a drooling Peyton. She racked her brain trying to figure out how Peyton had ended up in her bed, but she couldn't come up with a solution so she shrugged it off. She stretched out and yawned, causing Peyton to start wiggling around and mumbling incoherently.

"Peyton." Haley said, shaking her, trying to wake her but to no avail. "PEYTON!"

"Wha…what?" Peyton said jerking straight up in bed, nearly knocking Haley out.

"How the hell did you end up in my bed?"

"Oh that. I got in late and I stumbled into the first room I could find. Surprise!" Peyton replied, rubbing her face.

"It wouldn't be the first surprise this weekend." Haley grumbled and Peyton looked at her curiously. "Nathan's and Brooke's mom and step dad were here when we showed up…Madison in tote."

"Oh, that had to be, uh, interesting."

"Yeah, something along those lines. Madison spent the evening fawning over Nathan, Jake and Brooke were cuddling, and I schooled Lucas on the fine art of kicking his ass in NBA Live."

"So you hung out with Lucas?" Peyton asked a slight hint of jealousy in her voice.

"Oh God, you two are hopeless." Haley laughed, rolling her eyes.

"What?"

"Why don't you two just admit that you love each other and move on? You know you are. I know he is..."

"Really?"

"Yeah and the sooner you get over whatever fear you have and move on, the sooner you get to you know, get it on." Haley winked, causing Peyton to giggle. They stopped laughing once they heard a knocking on the door. "Come in."

"Hey." Nathan said peaking in behind the door. "Oh hey Peyton. Lucas is looking for you."

"Oh ok. That's my cue. Thanks Haley." Peyton said patting Haley's leg and getting up.

"Sleep ok?" Nathan asked coming further into the room once Peyton had left.

"Uh yeah, it was fine. I thought I'd let you know first that I uh, I'm leaving tomorrow instead of the end of the week."

"Why? When did this happen?" Nathan asked sitting on the foot of her bed.

"Your mom hates me, Derek leers after me, and Madison wants to kill me. I just this is really useless and a waste and I have so much to do before the semester starts…"

"Stop making excuses Hales." Nathan said cutting her off. "This is about me and you and this is about me and Madison."

"Fine then, it's about all that and the fact that I don't belong here. It was a mistake."

"This is just complicated okay? Why don't you stay the week and after that we'll go back to the city and we won't have to be around any of them?"

"Why are you doing this? Just let it go." Haley yelled getting up to move away from him.

"Haley…"

"What!" she screamed facing him holding out her arms. "What do you want from me? I don't understand why you're doing this. This conversation is growing a little bit tiresome. You don't even know me."

"I know you're obsessed with some stupid show on the WB about two half brothers who the don't get along. I know you love music even though you refuse to play. I know you miss you're mom and you're dad and you won't admit that. I know you love wildflowers. You're favorite food is mac and cheese. I know more than you think. I know I see this going somewhere. And I only want to know more."

"You are the most impossible person I have ever met!"

"Come on." he said getting up, grabbing her hand and pulling her into the bathroom.

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked as he turned on the shower, still holding her hand. "Nathan."

"You're going to get in the shower and I'll meet you down stairs when you get done."

"Who are you to tell me what to do?" she inquired, jerking her hand away from his and placing her hands on her hips.

"Are you going to undress yourself or am I?" he challenged. She glared at him before dropping her hands in defeat. "That's what I thought."

"Well don't just stand there. Get out!" she commanded and he smirked before he left.

Twenty minutes later she stepped out of the shower and dried herself off, only to see an outfit already laid out on her bed. She got dressed and threw her hair up in a messy, wet bun and went to put on her shoes. As she was slipping on her second snow boot she did a double take at what was sitting at the edge of her bed. Ice skates.

"All set?" Nathan asked once she entered the kitchen, ice skates in tote. "I, uh packed a picnic, figured we could have some brunch."

"I don't skate." Haley deadpanned, dropping the skates on the kitchen floor with a dull thud.

"We'll see about that."

"Yeah, we will. Where' Madison anyway?" Haley asked looking around.

"Shopping with my mom. Lets go."

Haley followed closely behind Nathan, every one in a while holding his hand for support as they trekked through the snowy hills. After about fifteen minutes of walking in the woods, Nathan came to an abrupt stopped and looked around as if he were lost. Haley started looking around too and then it hit her. They were lost.

"We're lost." Haley stated, throwing up her hands in annoyance.

"We're not lost."

"We're lost. We're in the middle of the woods, in freezing weather, lost." Haley pointed out as Nathan spun around. Finally he stopped, grabbed her hand, and practically drug her through the trees until they were at a small frozen pond. He pulled her down on the make shift bench that was sitting on the edge of it and began to pull on his own skates. Haley watched in for a few moments before sighing and pulling on her own.

"You coming?" Nathan asked from the middle of the pond. Haley shakily stood up, nearly falling and tried to skate her way over to him.

"The first and last time I did this I ended up in the ER with a broken foot." She shouted as she stopped for a second to get her bearing.

"Well I promise not to let you get hurt." he grinned. He skated over to her and took her into hands into his own twirling her around. "The last time I was here my dad was alive. He took me and Brooke here to teach us how to skate. Honesty, I sucked at it. Brooke, now she was graceful as ever. I kept falling flat on my ass every time I moved but Dad just kept helping me up and telling me I could do it. Eventually I got it and from all the years in New York and playing ice hockey at school, I'm really good at it."

"So why come back here now? With me?" she asked, skating around a bit.

"I dunno…I just thought it would be fun for us. Let us end on a happy note."

"Oh Nathan, look it's snowing." she gushed, sticking out her tongue as the snow flakes came cascading down. Her smile quickly faded as she lost her footing, struggling to stand up but failed horribly as she came crashing down, bringing Nathan down with her with a loud oomph. "That was beautiful." she laughed, Nathan still on top of her.

"You're beautiful." he told her honestly. Before she could respond he had planted a sweet and lingering kiss on her lips.

"What was that for?" she asked quietly.

"I wanted to? Look, I couldn't help it okay. This, whatever it is, I just can't explain it but I feel it, it's there and I cannot stop thinking about you."

"You won't even let me break up with you when we're not even dating." she replied, slightly smiling.

"Come on." he said getting up and pulling her with him. "I have something to show you."

"More? This is going to hurt me again isn't it?" she asked.

"Hmm…maybe not physically but maybe a different kind of hurt." he said winking.

They skated around for a bit more before sitting down and pulling their boots back on. Quietly, they made their way through more woods as the snow kept falling. After what happened the previous night with Madison, Nathan was more than positive that he wanted Haley. Yeah, he barely knew her and that was okay with him because right now he felt a connection and that was really all that mattered. Finally, they arrived at the tiny cabin.

"So um, what are we doing here?" Haley asked once they shook the snow off their boots and entered the small, one room with only a couch, coffee table, and fireplace.

"This used to be me and Brooke's 'play house.' It came with the property. We used to come up here as kids and Brooke would make me play house with her; had the tea parties and everything. It was a serious blow to my manly hood."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Well if you look in that corner over there, I think that will." he said pointing to the guitar resting against the wall. She walked over to it, gingerly picking it up and lightly began strumming the strings. Nathan watched her as he set up the fire, smiling to himself.

"You set this up last night didn't you?" she asked as she set down on the couch.

"Quite possibly. Or it could just be that that the guitar just happened to be here." he replied getting up, satisfied that the fire was good and settled on the couch beside her. "Sing something for me."

"What do you want me to sing?" she asked skeptically.

"Anything."

Carefully, she began strumming an all too familiar tune. Nathan sat back against one end of the couch, completely mesmerized as her voice rung out through the tiny cabin. Haley had never once in her entire life sang for anyone. Except with her mother. But for some reason she felt safe, she felt confident, and she felt incredible. Gradually, her voice picked up as she gained her confidence more and more in each verse.

_I love your imperfections._

_I love your everything. _

_Your broken heart, _

_Your broken wings. _

_I love you when you hold me, _

_And when you turn away, _

_I love you still. _

_And I'm not afraid. _

_'Cause I know you feel the same way. _

_And you'll stay. _

_'Cause when we're torn apart, _

_Shattered and scarred. _

_Love has the grace to save us. _

_We're just two tarnished hearts. _

_But in each other's arms. _

_We become saints and angels._

As she finished the remaining of the song, she let out her breathe, waiting for some kind of reaction. Anything at all. She was met with silence. Finally, she set the guitar down beside the couch and willed herself to look at Nathan. His eyes said everything. She was good and he saw that. She smiled at him and in turn, he leaned forward, cupping her face and kissing her.

"That was incredible." he told her honestly. She took a gulp, wondering if what she was about to do was the right decision. For once though, she didn't want to make the right or wrong decision. She just wanted to live for that moment and for that instant. So tentatively and hesitantly, she tugged as the bottom of his shirt pulling it over his head. "Haley…"

"Shh…it's okay. I want to."

Passion.

So for this winter she was experiencing something she had never felt before and right now that was okay with her. She needed something different, something special. Something she wouldn't regret.

At least, not at that moment.

**Woo Hoo!**

**Review!**


	8. Regret

**Second to last chapter people. Enjoy it while you can so leave some reviews. **

Regret

Haley rested safely against Nathan's chest, his arms secured tightly around her. She hadn't had expected things to go that far; in fact, they weren't supposed to even start. But she didn't have any regrets. Not one. She was still going to leave tomorrow, nothing changed that but there was a tiny hope that things would work out. She had given him something no one else had ever contended for: her heart, body, and soul. He in turn, had given her the chance and the time to show her true worth.

"How do you feel?" Nathan asked kissing forehead.

"I feel, good. Really good." she replied snuggling closer and smiling. "I fit so well into your arms. It's perfect."

"You think you'll regret any of this?"

"Nope."

Flashback

_Haley's hands trembled and her heart was beating rapidly but this is what she wanted. Nathan looked confused at first but caught on quick, searching her eyes, guaranteeing that his was indeed, what she desired. He had no idea as to why, out of no where, he was suddenly nervous. He knew it was her first time, and while he felt kind of guilty about that, he knew that she wanted this. Granted he had had sex before but this, this tingling and anxiety, this was a whole other ball game. This was making love and quite frankly, it terrified him. _

_Nathan sat there as she removed his shirt, placing kisses up and down his bare chest. Haley in turn, was slightly hesitant before helping his hands remove her own sweater. She sucked in her breathe once he looked at her in just her black lace bra. Teasingly, he ran his fingers along the outline of the curves and the straps before slipping them down her arms. She almost stopped him when he leaned forwards, reaching behind her to unclasp her support, but her hand retreated almost as soon as it came up. _

_Once Nathan had discarded her bra, he placed his hands behind her back and softly eased her, with himself, down to the sofa. He gazed at her for a few moments before leaning in and kissing her softly and slowly, gathering in every taste she had. From there, he moved downwards, starting with her ear lobes to her neck and on south to the two mounds on her chest. Her body shook with nervousness and desire as he kissed and nipped each one, placing butterfly kisses all along her stomach. _

_Finally his mouth reached the rim of her pants and slowly unbuttoned the clasp and slid down the zipper. He placed tiny kisses along the outline of her matching black panties and went to pull the pants the rest of the way down. Quickly, she pulled his body upwards and began kissing him. His hands dropped from her lower area, thinking that she no longer wanted to. She didn't break their kisses, instead using her own hands to guide his in ridding her of the rest of her clothing. She in turn, used her hands and unblocked his belt and slipped off his own pair of jeans and boxers. _

_Nathan rested against her, both fully unclothed, as he gently kissed her and stroked her face. From there, his hand moved lower until he felt in between her legs and he smiled upon hearing her slightly moan. He used that to pleasure her and prepare her for a few minutes before maneuvering to enter her. _

"_Do you…" she started and he answered her obvious question by reaching in his pants and in his wallet for that special 'just in case' device. _

"_You sure?" he asked her once more and she bit her lip for a minute before nodding her head in approval. His gaze traveled over her exposed body and in embarrassment, she went to cover herself but was stopped. "Don't. You are so beautiful and you don't even know it."_

"_I, uh, this, it's scary." _

"_Haley we don't have to do this. I want you yes, absolutely. But this is not something I have to have from you." _

"_No, no it's okay. " she replied closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath. "I want to."_

"_Hales…"_

_She cut him off by a searing kiss that he reacted to instantly. She had to do it, get it over or otherwise she was going to lose her nerve. While she had been fairly adamant in waiting until marriage to give herself to someone, she felt that this was right. This was perfect. This is where she wanted to be. Besides, this was as close to as being in love as she was going to get. She trusted him, wanted him, and was giving herself to him. _

_Gently he eased himself into her and he kissed her to stop her from screaming out in pain. She winced and let the few tears spill over and run down her cheeks. He wiped them away as he thrust back and forth in slow motion, letting her body become familiar with the new feeling it was experiencing. He listened to her moan and whimper, all the while trying to steady her shaking body as he covered the different areas of her body with his mouth. _

_Surprisingly, she made the movement to switch positions, allowing him to rest sitting up against the back of the couch as she positioned herself to straddle him. For someone who had never once done this, much less kissed someone a whole lot, Haley was a natural lover. Nathan had never felt more aroused or more pleasured in his entire life. It was quite simply, beautiful. For a few moments as she rode him back and forth they locked eyes and looking into her brown orbs pooled with desire, compassion, and pain, he felt it. _

_He fell in love. _

_It was absurd, they barely knew each other. Factors in either one's life would keep them apart. The odds were against them and yet at that moment, he couldn't deny it. He felt it so much more than anything he had ever felt. It was dull and aching and at the same time raging and tingly. It was the most erotic moment he had ever had. _

_His quiet reverie was interrupted as her moaning became more quickened and louder. He quickly moved her back to their original position of him on top to finish their act. It amazed Haley how perfectly they fit within each other's arms. It was corny yes, but it was like they were made for each other. Like God, spent the extra time to take these two people and mold them to fit together like a puzzle. The missing pieces in each other's lives and hearts. _

_In one final scream, they both moaned and finished, him collapsing on top of her. They tried their best to catch their breaths, having a hard time competing with their rapidly beating heart. He rested against her chest as she gently stroked his hair, wondering how half an hour could change someone like that. As if gazing into his blue eyes, somehow sucked her in, entrapping her there. It was that one moment, that one single moment when she had felt it. _

_She fell in love._

_She wouldn't breathe a word about it, the fact that it had happened, that she had realized it didn't change the face that she was still going to leave in the morning. He wouldn't understand it, and she wouldn't try to make him. She was going to slip out early, unnoticed, and have Peyton drive her to the train. Haley wanted this Christmas to have good memories, a good vibe, and she wasn't about to push fate and ruin it. She just wanted one simple winter with no disruptions. _

"_I'm sorry if I hurt you." he whispered and she eased his head up so that his chin was resting on her chest so she could look at him. _

"_It's okay. It doesn't now." she said giving him a small smile. He moved, switching places with her so that she was now resting on his chest and pulled the blanket down from the back of the couch. _

End Flashback

She had fallen asleep almost immediately afterwards and Nathan was completely content on just watching her. She looked peaceful and serene sleeping and he didn't want to interrupt that. He debated whether or not to tell her about his new feelings but decided against it. He knew that he meant it with all his heart but at the same time he doubted it with the fact that they barely knew one another. Maybe that was the beauty of the whole thing. They didn't have to know each other to feel a deep bond, a deep connection.

He slipped from underneath her, letting her rest on the couch as he got dressed and tended to the fire. He needed more wood, that was definite but didn't want to leave her by herself. He didn't want her to freeze either. Sighing, he pulled on his coat and beanie and went outside to get the firewood. He nearly jumped out of his skin and dropped all the wood in his hands upon hearing someone call out his name. He whipped around and panicked upon seeing her in front of him.

Madison.

"Well, well, isn't this nice?" she smirked coming closer and peeking in the window. "So you went from me to her in a day flat. I'm impressed."

"What are you doing here? I thought after last night you would take the hint and leave." Nathan gritted out.

"Why would you ever get that impression?"

"Just go away Madison. These games, their getting a little bit old." Nathan sighed.

"So did you tell her that you've been with me all this time? I'm sure she'd be interested in knowing don't you think?" Madison asked completing ignoring Nathan.

"Don't you dare…"

"Oh you didn't tell her? Big surprise there. Probably wouldn't have gotten into her pants then huh? Was she at least any good?"

"Shut up Madison!" Nathan screamed.

Haley's head jerked up off the couch upon hearing Nathan yelling. She wasn't sure if she heard right but she could've sworn that she heard the name Madison. Wait. Madison? Quickly, she searched for her clothes, throwing them on haphazardly and went out of the door not even bothering to put on her coat. She held herself as she walked around the corner of the cabin to see Nathan and Madison in an animate conversation.

"Will you just give it a rest? Just go. I don't want you okay?" Nathan yelled again to an unfazed Madison.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't barge in there, wake her naked and used ass up and tell her the truth." Madison replied firmly.

"Because I'm in love her!"

Haley's hand flew to her mouth to keep from screaming. He loved her? What? How? When? Huh? Before she knew it, she tripped over a loose branch and came into full view of the two former lovers. Nathan looked up upon seeing her and flew past Madison to Haley.

"Haley, I'm so sorry." Nathan said, placing both hands on her shoulders. She didn't understand why he would be sorry for anything.

"You, you, uh, you said, you love me?" she asked, nearing the brink of tears.

"Yeah." he said quietly. "Yeah, I do. Love you, I mean."

"How romantically gagging." Madison said from behind them clapping her hands mockingly. "You wanna know how much he loves you?"

"Madison…" Nathan warned.

"What did you do?" Haley asked Nathan, searching his eyes. They never left his as Madison revealed the next bit of information.

"He loves you so much Haley, that he's been sleeping and seeing me all along."

Nathan watch in vain as Haley's tears fell and her eyes went from excitement and partial terror to pain and hollow. He did that. He put that there and he couldn't' take it back. She would never forgive him for this. His fingers fell off her shoulders as she stepped away from him, her beautiful face contorted into confusion and hurt.

"It was a mistake." he said quietly, looking down at the ground shamefully.

**Regret.**

_And there it was. The one thing she felt so sure that she wouldn't feel this winter. This winter was supposed to be different. She felt it, she wanted it so much. She held it in her hand and now it was slipping in between her fingers like sand. Sand in an hourglass, that was about to be empty. Even now, she still loved him and she guessed that's how she knew it was true. She couldn't hate him._

"The mistake was me being here." Haley responded, barely above a whisper as she kept inching backwards.

"Wait, stop. Let me talk to you, explain, please." Nathan begged reaching out for her.

"Just let her go Nate. You two would've never worked out. " Madison said from behind them. Nathan turned to glare at her and once he turned around Haley was trekking towards home. He dashed inside to get her coat and ran to follow wherever she was going.

"Haley stop!" He called out after her, but she just began to walk fast. Madison caught up with him soon, falling in step beside him. He ignored her, doing his best to keep up with Haley. "Haley!"

"Just don't." Haley said stopping abruptly and turning to face him. "Don't make this any harder than it is. Just let it go. Please."

"I can't do that. I am in love with you. I can't explain it and I can't explain why I did the things I did. But I can promise you that I will spend the rest of my life proving it to you and making it up to you. I can do better, I know I can. Just give me a chance. Another one. Please?"

"I can't. I just…I'm done." Haley replied, as her tears kept falling.

"Why? I just don't understand…"

"Because I'm in love with you too." Haley replied simply as she began crying harder and started running away, blindly into the woods.

"Stop. Just let her go. " Madison said, grabbing a hold of Nathan's arm when he went to go after her.

"I can't just let the best thing that ever happened to me walk away. You of all people should understand that." Nathan responded, jerking his arm away from her grasp.

He broke out in a sprint, following the direction she had went in hoping and praying that she wouldn't get lost. He was nearing the pond, and stopped briefly to see if he could hear her around. His ears perked up upon hearing branches breaking around him. It wasn't as cold as it was hours earlier in the morning, Nathan realized as he squinted from the sun up above. He heard screaming and ran in the direction it came from. He stopped seeing Madison in Haley's face at the edge of the pond screaming and taunting her.

"Madison!" he called, jogging towards them all the while wondering how in the hell Madison had beat him there.

Before he could reach the two girls who had now inched their way onto the ice, he froze. They were near the edge of the pond that Nathan had avoided earlier. Avoided because the ice was too thin. Haley was struggling to stay standing still, saying nothing in response to Madison's insults. He snapped out of his trance and ran as fast as he could to them but he was too late. Madison shoved Haley, making her fall flat on the ice. Nathan slid to a halting stop, watching in horror as he heard the ice cracking and Haley scream as she slipped into the cold dark waters beneath the ice.

"NATHAN!"


	9. Love

**A/N: So this is the final chapter. Grab a Kleenex. This story was really random when it came to mind. You know when you find a new song and you listen to it over and over until it's like a broken record playing in your mind? Well when I was listening to Breathe by Anna Nalick the line Winter Just Wasn't My Season kept getting stuck in my head. So I was thinking well maybe...and bam! This is the result. I didn't think it would end up being so popular but it was and I thank all of you for the reviews. For those who read this story at the Tutoring Center, I didn't know if I ended it right. So I was going to back and change it but upon reading it I decided the orignal ending was good to bring the point of the story across. Besides, I knew one of the two stories I was writing at the time was going to end up this way and so I picked this one. Anyway, not to spoil the ending and not to keep you waiting any longer...Enjoy. **

Love

Nathan's heart froze. Haley had just slipped beneath the ice and he wasn't moving. Why wasn't he moving? Madison fell back on to solid ice and scrambled to the safe haven of the ground. Suddenly, he felt a body slam into him and turned to see Brooke, Jake, Lucas and Peyton standing right beside him. Finally, something clicked and Nathan moved to the black hole in the middle of the ice. Not even thinking twice about it, he drove in, in search of Haley.

"Nathan!" Brooke screamed, trying to go after him, but was stopped by Jake.

Lucas ran over to the hole and knelt down, sticking his hand in there so that Nathan had a guide to go by. The water was beyond freezing and Nathan prayed that he could keep his body temperature up and long enough to find Haley and get both of them out. He frantically looked around underneath the water and finally saw her, barely, about twenty feet away. Lifeless. He struggled over to her, yanking her to his body, and searched for the opening once more. He finally noticed a hand, and swam towards it. He shoved Haley's body up first into whoever's arms and gladly accepted another to hoist himself up.

Instantly, Peyton was at his side, throwing coats over him. He barely felt it as he helplessly watched Brooke giving CPR to Haley, using her own body warmth to heat her up. Finally, she sputtered the water out from her lungs and Brooke helped her on to her side, patting her back to help her breathe. She wasn't out of danger yet and Brooke knew that. Hypothermia would set in soon, with both Haley and Nathan.

"Jake, take Haley, we have to get her to a hospital now." Brooke commanded and Jake took off his coat, wrapping Haley in it and hoisted her up into his arms. "Lucas and Peyton, help Nathan up he needs to go to."

"Brooke, is s-she g-gonna m-make I-it?" Nathan asked as Peyton and Lucas wrapped either arm on their shoulders. Brooke looked at her sympathetically and sighed.

"I don't know Nate." she said softly. "I'm gonna call the ambulance, I'll be right behind you." She pulled out her cell phone and called an ambulance to meet them at the house. She stayed behind as she watched the people she loved the most disappear into the distance. Slapping her cell phone shut, she turned to the terrified blonde still resting on the ground, staring at the large black hole. And she had every reason to be terrified.

"Brooke!" Peyton said walking back down the hill. She knew her best friend well, and she knew she had to go back and get her.

Brooke walked over to Madison, ignoring Peyton and pulled her up by her hair. Once she was satisfied that Madison was standing on her own two feet, she punched her dead in her jaw. Peyton ran over to where they were and restrained Brooke from doing any further damage.

"Don't you ever come near Nathan or Haley again! Do you understand me? She could die!" Brooke screamed, struggling to get out of Peyton's grasp.

"Brooke, the baby…" Peyton tried.

"Good." Madison replied, spitting blood from her mouth. "She doesn't deserve Nathan."

"Why you little…" Brooke started but was interrupted by Peyton taking her role and again punching Madison.

"Bitch." Peyton said as she watched Madison fall to the ground once again. Peyton got within inches of her face and glared at her menacingly. "I swear to you Madison, you do not want to mess with me. So when you mess with Haley and Nathan, you mess with me. Understand? You will pay for this in so many ways Madison. You're career, your status, everything. Leave Nathan and Haley alone." she spat as she shoved Madison back down. She walked over to Brooke and hugged the brunette. "It's okay Brookie. Let's go check on Haley and Nathan."

They left Madison and hurriedly trekked up to the cabin. They arrived just as the EMTS arrived tried to contain their emotions as they strapped Haley onto a stretcher and hoisted her into the ambulance. Deb looked on in what could only be described as satisfaction

"No, you're not going to look at me unless I ride with her." Nathan responded when the paramedics tried to look at him. They nodded and helped him on board, coving him with more blankets. "I can't lose her."

Brooke stood in shock for a few moments as she watched the ambulance pull away. Granted, she had always wanted to be a doctor for as long as she could remember, she just had never actually saved someone's life. Until now. It was that thought that scared her enough to make her throw up. Jake was at her side in an instant, as she broke down into tears.

"You did good." he soothed. She nodded, wiping her mouth, and straightened herself up. She stomped her way over to her mother and slapped her in the face.

"You are despicable. You did this didn't you? This whole thing with Madison trying to re-enter Nathan's life was all your doing and look at what you did in the process! Someone could die Mother. Does that even faze you one bit? Or are you just completely proud of yourself that you possibly got rid of someone who was beneath you and not good enough for Nathan?"

"There is no possibility about it dear." Deb smirked before lightly patting Brooke's cheek and walking back into the house. Peyton came out handing everyone their jackets so that they could go. They all piled into the SUV and made their way in silence to the hospital. Brooke had a feeling Nathan would be okay, but Haley, she wasn't so sure. She remembered that Haley told her once that she couldn't swim and she had no idea how long she was in the freezing water before Nathan dove in after her.

Twenty minutes later they all arrived at the hospital, sans Jake who had to stay behind to take care of Jenny. Brooke was a mess, traumatized from the whole event. Peyton stayed by her side, trying her best to soothe her and Lucas just stood by, willing to help out whenever he was needed. Brooke walked up to the nurse's station to find out about her brother and friend.

"Excuse me? I'm looking for Nathan Scott." Brooke tearfully said as she approached the nurse.

"And you are?" the nurse asked.

"His sister. He and my friend were brought in for possible hypothermia. They fell in the ice." Brooke explained. The nurse nodded and went to looking through the computer.

"His status is in progress. They're still working on him dear."

"And Haley James?"

"Same, I'm afraid. Take a seat and I'll let the doctor in charge know that someone's here from them. They'll let you know."

Brooke nodded, and took a seat in between Lucas and Peyton. Jake arrived a short time later carrying a sleeping Jenny on his shoulder. Peyton moved to the other side of Lucas, gratefully accepting his shoulder to lean on. Brooke took Jenny from Jake, choosing her comfort over any one else's. Jake wrapped his arm around Brooke's shoulder and kissed her forehead.

"They'll be okay." he assured.

It seemed like an eternity later, but in all actuality a few hours when a doctor came out and called the party for Scott. Lucas and Peyton had taken Jenny to the cafeteria to get some food and Brooke was resting in Jake's arms. She jerked up and sped over to wear the doctor was and waited patiently for his news. Jake was at her side, holding her hand the entire time as the doctor began to speak.

"How is my brother?"

"He's stable right now. He wasn't in the water for that long and it shouldn't do any permanent damage and he should be fine. He's in room 12. Take this badge, and only one visitor at a time." the doctor said handing Brooke a badge.

"What about Haley James?"

"She's in a coma right now and we're not sure the full extent of her damage. I'm sorry but no visitors." the doctor replied and Brooke nodded, heading down the hall.

"Hey you." Brooke said as she quietly entered the room. Nathan was lying in a bed, completely still. Brooke went over and sat beside his bed, taking his hand.

"They won't tell me what's going on. How is she?" he croaked out.

"She's in a coma Nate. They won't let me see her." Brooke replied sadly. "What happened? I don't understand…"

"We were having this really great day; I took her ice skating, I packed a lunch, I showed her our little cabin. She sang for me Brooke, it was incredible. She is so talented. Then we uh, it just sorta happened."

"You slept with her." Brooke clarified and Nathan nodded. "Nathan how could you do that? What are you thinking? Sleeping with Madison behind her back like that. That's low."

"Brooke, I don't need a lecture okay. I broke it off with Madison last night. She wanted to marry me, well she tried to trap me and say that she was pregnant but it didn't cut it with me. She showed up right after I slept with Haley and she told Haley everything. Haley ran, Madison caught up with her before I got there and she pushed her and she fell though the ice. Then you guys showed up. How did you get there anyway?"

"Haley left me a note and we all decided to go up there. Figured it would be a nice day. This is anything but nice."

"This is all my fault." Nathan muttered. "I think I fell in love with her."

"It's your fault that you were with Madison. It's Madison's fault that she pushed Haley. It's Haley's fault that you fell in love with her." Brooke replied giving Nathan a small smile. "You should really cherish the time you spent with her though. She's an amazing person."

"Yeah, I know. I can't believe I let this happen. I did this to her. Eventually it all comes back down to me. She offered so many times for me to just walk away and I couldn't. I was drawn to her and I couldn't just leave. I wanted her so much; we held this connection, this bond from the very first moment we met. It was only a week but it was so much more than that. It could've been a lifetime."

"Yeah it could've been."

* * *

Six months later

Nathan stood on the sandy beach letting the wind whip though his hair, smelling the salty air. It was chilly but he didn't let it faze him. The coldness in of the sharp air was nothing compared to the coldness of his heart. He shoved his hands in his pockets and watched as the sun set on the horizon. Six months. It had been six months since that winter. The pain he carried each day didn't get any easier. Her memory scarred him, taunting him in his dreams, never letting him rest. He supposed he didn't deserve it.

"It should've been me." he whispered to no one in particular.

"But it wasn't you." Brooke said from beside him clutching her very pregnant belly. "You live and you learn. Love and mourn. Then you move on."

"If Jake was the one who died would you still be spitting those words?" Nathan asked cynically.

"Probably not, but you would." she replied softly. "I know you miss her and you loved her but maybe she wasn't supposed to stick around for the long haul. She was there to change you, and for you to change her. She was happy Nate and even though you hurt her in the end, she still loved you. That's the kind of love that supposed to count, no matter if it's a week or an eternity. You tasted it, lived it, enjoyed it…now hold on to it. Learn from your mistakes and make her proud of you."

"I can't let her be proud of me. Look at me, what I was. I was rotten and weak. She didn't deserve that."

"No she didn't. " Brooke agreed. "But she wouldn't judge you for it. She was so much stronger than any of us. She took life no matter what it threw her. Life threw her you and look how well she handled that. I don't even think she would be bitter about what happened. "

"She regretted the whole thing. I saw it in her eyes when she told me she loved me too. It was just there and it nearly killed me to know I put it there and it literally killed her. I try to remember when she was laughing and smiling and in my arms but all I can remember is that day in the hospital."

Flashback

_After a week of Haley being in a coma and a week of staying away, Nathan could no longer take it. He went to the hospital on a mission and was hassled the entire time about seeing her. They were completely adamant on the 'Family Only' policy but Nathan would hear nothing of it. He yelled and screamed and nearly got arrested but relaxed when an older gentleman stepped out of Haley's room and motioned that it was okay. Nathan followed him into the room and instantly felt the tears form in his eyes at her lifeless body. _

"_They don't think she's going to wake up." the man said from beside Nathan. "This is the most I've seen my daughter in seven years. I loved her but after my wife, her mother, passed I could barely stand to look at her. She's the spitting image of her mother, heart, body and soul. Now I've lost them both." _

_Nathan nodded and walked over, sitting down on the bed, taking Haley's hand in his own. It was cold and limp and Nathan felt the guilt rack through him once more. He didn't even notice when Haley's father slipped out of the room giving them there moment. He kissed her hand, her forehead, her cheek, and finally her lips before sitting back and watching her. After a few moments of memorizing her every feature he began to speak. _

"_I know I messed up Hales. I know I've lost you. But I want you to know that you made a difference. You changed me and touched me and no matter what I do in my life, I'll never let go of you. You took the biggest part of my heart and I'm not gonna take that back. I love you and I know I have a crummy way of showing it but wherever you are and wherever you go I hope you know it's the truth and I hope you're happy."_

End Flashback

Nathan had never went back after that day. He couldn't handle it to see her lying there. Her father kept holding on, praying, keeping her alive. In the end though, it was futile and finally after six months he took her off life support. Her father had showed up the next day at Nathan's apartment and handed him an urn filled with her ashes telling him that he trusted him to deal with it. So that led him and Brooke here today. They traveled down to the North Carolina coast to mix her ashes in the waves.

"It's time Nate." Brooke said quietly resting her hand on his arm. Nathan nodded, taking the top of the urn and walked closer to the edge. He let the waves crash down on his feet and tipped the jar so that the ashes danced hand and hand with the wind that swept across the ocean.

He loved her and she loved him and that was something to hold on to. Something worth leaving behind. And while everyone experiences different emotions as one point or another it's how you handle them that shows your true character. Haley took everything in stride. She didn't let it bother her but this winter she felt something new.

**Love**.

_As Nathan watched the last little bit of orange crept beneath the horizon and closed his eyes and let her enter his mind. She was happy. He'd always feel guilty and incomplete but he knew she's always be around. _

Winter just wasn't her season.

**A/N2: So I've gotta give some shout outs...first off, Katy who even though you have already read it and know what happens still takes the time to review. You're awesome. ...Naleybop...Thanks for the in depth reviews completed with quotes :)...Iftheyonlyknewthetruth, Lilmonkeygirl31,Danishgirl, Izzie23, Nateandhales4ever, Sw33t Lavender,naley-obseshunz-xOx, ggfan01, Dizzie12, Lorilozz, TreeHillAdmirer, and Othoclvryou all are a faithful reviewers and leave great reviews so thanks :)**


	10. Authors Note

Hey guys...I know it's been eons since I've update any of my stories. My world kind of exploded eight months ago and I lost all inspiration. I'm terribly sorry. However, after reviewing my stories, I plan to revamp some old ones and start writing again. So bear with me and I'll try to start writing again. Thanks, Amanda 


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